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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kine of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this opinion.

In certain countries, excessive fast
food
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 consumption has
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affected
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effected
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affected
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 the
life
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lives
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 of many
people
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 as it is the cause of
health
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 problems. For the government to impose a higher
tax
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 on
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
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 is crucial. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because there are some alternative policies
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 may
also
Linking Words
 steer
people
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 away from excessive fast
food
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 consumption. Many diseases, obesity, diabetes and hypertension, occur in bad-eating
behavior
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behaviour
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thus
Linking Words
 coercive measure to impose the
tax
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 on junk
food
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 is accepted whether it has effective and is worth managing the increasing number of consumers.
First
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, it makes fast
food
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 less desirable as higher
tax
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 means higher
fast
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fast-food
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food
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 prices. To illustrate, most
people
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, including workers and students, have
their
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apply
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limited lunch budgets.
Secondly
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, the state can use
this
Linking Words
tax
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 to promote other
health
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 policies due to the
increased
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increase
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 in revenue from
this
Linking Words
 extra rate can fund
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Add a hyphen
health-related
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health- related
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health-related
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 campaigns
such
Linking Words
 as extra support or benefits for restaurants that serve healthy dishes.
For instance
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, diners, that have been certified by the government that they serve healthy dishes, may get
tax
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 exemptions or may be able to apply for a business loan from a state-owned bank.
In addition
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, here are some policies which may
also
Linking Words
 steer
people
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 from excessive unhealthy consumption. Government should use other measurement tools and create
statistical
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a statistical
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model
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models
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such
Linking Words
 as educate
people
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 on healthy products and unhealthy products and implement programs to help young citizens familiarize themselves with
healthy
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a healthy
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diet
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diets
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.
Citizen
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Citizens
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 should be educated on the
health
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 benefits as well as potential dangers that come with
food
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.
For example
Linking Words
, once
people
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 have been
thoroughly
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thorough
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, they can choose for themselves and unhealthy
food
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 may cause them to have serious
health
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 problems, which will surely incur unnecessary
expense
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expenses
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. To sum up, using the policy of increasing
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tax
Correct article usage
the tax
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of
Change preposition
on
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 fast
food
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 is important but the
citizen
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city
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 should use
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 measures to combine for the maximum benefit of the consumers.

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