IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
In various nations worldwide, many people advocate taking a gap year to
work
 or travel before beginning one’s tertiary education. While there is a drawback to
this
, I believe that the benefits are more significant. The disadvantage of going on a gap year is that
students
 may not return to their studies. The reason for
this
 is that they may enjoy earning money and becoming financially independent.
Therefore
, their whole future could be negatively affected; everyone must graduate with a degree to be competitive in the job market.
On the other hand
, one of the significant advantages is that
students
 will expand their horizons if they travel overseas. When
students
 go abroad, they will be exposed to different cultures and customs.
For example
, westerners visiting a country like Thailand will be able to experience traditional Thai dance like Khon and traditional Thai sport like Muay Thai.
As a result
, they will gain a deeper understanding of the different places in the world.
In addition
 to that,
students
 who
work
 will learn to appreciate the value of money. It is because they will realize the hard
work
 involved in earning an income.
Consequently
, they would think more before purchasing anything they desire and may become less impulsive in their spending. In conclusion, the advantages are of greater significance than the disadvantage. Even though
students
 may not continue studying at university, they will gain much experience when they travel or appreciate money better when they
work
. Given
this
 situation, it is recommended that schools should encourage more
students
 to consider taking a gap year.
Submitted by arash.dejkameh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: