In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

As we know, the
education
system in different countries differs. While in some countries young people have a flexible syllabus in others children have tremendous workload and are put under incredible pressure. A good illustration of
this
is Chinese schools, which are known to have a difficult curriculum across the world. Chinese
school
system lean very strongly towards the memorization of facts, from an early age
kids
learn pretty advanced math and other exact sciences, they have
long
Replace the word
longer
show examples
school
days and extra tuitions after
school
. The main reason for
such
hard
education
is a huge population, so
education
becomes very competitive.
Besides
, they have a hard exam at the end of
school
, which dictates their success in life. From childhood,
kids
are taught how important to pass
this
exam to get into a better
school
, to get a better job in the long run. Hardly do young people, who are put under
such
pressure, have playtime. What is more disturbing if
kids
have a lack of free time and incredible workload it might lead to health issues
such
as depression and anxiety. As a solution,
firstly
government should reform the
education
system to move a focus from memorizing information to developing critical thinking and creativity. The syllabus should be flexible to provide
kids
with an opportunity to choose subjects that they are keen on. As an option exam can be reorganized to estimate not only hard skills but
also
soft skills and motivation.
Secondly
, the role of parents is equally important, they have to balance between pushing children and knowing when to let go, they should monitor their children's stress level and not overload with extra tuition. In conclusion, no matter in which country you are it is very important to have enough leisure time. Because if a child has a lack of free time and an incredible workload it might lead to health issues
such
as depression and anxiety.
Submitted by 3gubmail on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: