IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
Due to globalization, all goods are transported over the world, which local residents in each
country
 can easily purchase everything without any barriers.
This
 seems to provide positive change among countries. Since all
products
 are available in every part of the world, people will save travelling expenditure and time. Compared to the past, humans took a long way for buying materials or household items from other countries which have been made
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there and have not been found in their
country
.
Moreover
, even though those who are busy with work,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can get those goods effortlessly by purchasing them in the supermarket nearby the office or home.
For instance
, I and my friends are into Korean cosmetic
products
 and clothes, and there are a lot of shops selling them in Cambodia in the present, which we do need to request our friends to deliver those
products
 from Korea like before.
In addition
, the businesses will be significantly improved in every
country
 provided that the number of customers has been increasing noticeably. Generally, all businesses have put effort to attract more buyers for more income, but they are challenging with international customers in terms of delivery.
For example
, Apple company has been accessing all markets overseas because the company's
products
 have been sold everywhere which have the same quality
suchthe
Correct your spelling
such the
such
productshave
Correct your spelling
products have
 been sold in the United States which is the original manufacturing
country
.  In conclusion, I strongly believe that the availability of the same
productsglobally
Correct your spelling
products globally
product globally
 certainly has a lot of benefits to both buyers and business owners.
Submitted by sokuntheary94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: