In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problem for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

The advancement of medical knowledge has increased the probability of someone to live longer.

This

situation

bring

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brings

show examples

many benefits to the society as they are the walking witnesses of some historical moments. Even so, considering their

health

, they might require

higher

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a higher

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cost to maintain it.

However

this

could not be the reason

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for

show examples

disregarding their appearance.

Elderly

Add an article

The elderly

show examples

population

has been helping

many

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much

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scientific historical research run well.

According to

the scientist, the best way to learn history is through interacting with the witnesses.

Furthermore

, their existence is crucial to prevent past hoax news spread out.

For example

, G30S PKI is one of the historical

occasion

Fix the agreement mistake

occasions

show examples

in Indonesia. In the present time, many news give wrong

statement

Fix the agreement mistake

statements

show examples

about

this

accident. The experts

then

try to make a clarification about

this

accident with

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people as the witnesses.

On the other hand

, as their

health

deteriorating

Wrong verb form

deteriorates

show examples

throughout

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over

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time, the nation's universal

health

coverage reports that their biggest expense is

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show examples

the elderly

population

in order to maintain their

health

problems.

Nevertheless

, acquiring

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apply

show examples

good healthcare is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

citizen's right. So, it is supposed to be the government's

responcibility

Correct your spelling

responsibility

In addition

elderly

Add an article

the elderly

show examples

population

has been through a lot of struggles in their

live

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lives

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

contributing to the nation's success.

Therefore

, the society should

be respect

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respect

show examples

them. In conclusion,

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

genuine care

for

Change preposition

show examples

the elderly

population

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

more advantages than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

disadvantages.

Therefore

, the councils should provide them with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

proper

health

coverage so that they can live longer.

However

, some researchers still continue to

looking

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look

show examples

for a way to increase a person's age possibility.

Submitted by farrandyerza on Sat Feb 03 2024

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cohesion

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main points

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task response

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lexical resource

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Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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