IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that housing facilities should be built in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while others believe that parks should be set instead. Planting trees is very important for the environment. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some individuals advocate for the construction of new buildings and amenities in vacant lands in
cities
Use synonyms
,
while
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 others argue that vegetation and planting have priority for towns' environment.
This
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 essay will explore both sides and illustrate why parks are necessary for towns. A group of people opines that construction in empty regions of
cities
Use synonyms
 provides greater access to housing for residents, which makes it more affordable,
in addition
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, it can deter city centres from congestion, and
also
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 it helps to development of towns.
for instance
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, higher figures for housing lead to competitive prices in terms of rent and mortgage fees.
additionally
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, traffic jams and downtown business can be decreased by providing more facilities in different parts of
cities
Use synonyms
 On the flip side, some others assert that
whereas
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cities
Use synonyms
 need more ventilation
according to
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 their higher rate of pollution and emissions, it’s mandatory to allocate greater places to parks and trees.
moreover
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, vegetation can hinder the progress of concrete jungle views. to illuminate, as urban lives encounter to higher risk of pulmonary disease and gastrointestinal problems
due to
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 the higher rate of CO in the atmosphere, a good way to balance The air condition in green areas.
Furthermore
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, nature has a profound impact
in
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on
show examples
 lowering the stress level in humans, which
subsequently
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 leads to a higher quality of life.
To sum up
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,
although
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 some individuals endorse free areas of
cities
Use synonyms
 should be occupied by housing and facilities to lower housing prices and reduce congestion, Some others assert that parks should be placed in these spots
according to
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 their significant impact on the environment and human health, and I concur with the latter idea because it holds the better view.

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs and within sentences. Use more cohesive devices to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is fully developed and supported with clear, relevant examples. This includes expanding on points with specific data or anecdotes.
general
While your ideas are clear, be mindful of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Review your work to enhance clarity and precision.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a nice structure for the reader.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the task and present a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and provides logical arguments for both perspectives, which is indicative of good task response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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