IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

some people think that government should provide unemployed people with a free mobile phone and free access to the internet to help them find jobs. to what extent do you agree?

#people #government #phone #access #internet #jobs
Some argue that giving
a way
Correct your spelling
away
show examples
 of
searhing
Correct your spelling
searching
job
 aid is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
 of the executives. I completely agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that the unemployed should be provided
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
free mobile and free access to the internet to search
jobs
Change preposition
for jobs
show examples
.
Aanalysing
Correct your spelling
Analysing
Analyzing
 the help of administration in the time of not employing to find work and how
this
 result of assistance contribute on
development
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the development
show examples
 of the nation will prove
this
.
Firstly
, It is clear that with the help of
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
show examples
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 and free
intrance
Correct your spelling
entrance
 to the internet make
job
 seekers easy to find
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
role
Change to a plural noun
roles
show examples
 available in the
markey
Correct your spelling
market
, which is published online in different
job
board
Fix the agreement mistake
boards
show examples
 since
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
 recruitment is done only
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.
Furthermore
, By using these devices one can apply for different positions, get interviewed and be hired online, which
also
 enable
people
 to research and study about
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 that they are applying for.
For instance
, indeed, monster and
linkedin
Correct your spelling
LinkedIn
Linkedin
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
job
 board
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 only can be reached using technology. If the government had not made
these policy
Change the determiner
this policy
these policies
show examples
 to help non-working
people
 to look for work,
these
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 could have led the economy to depression mood.
Secondly
, it is important
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the authority to know about their citizen whether they need any help in the time of no work. When the public is employed, the economic condition will go up.
Moreover
, Employment plays
vital
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a vital
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 role in
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 growth and development of the federal.
For example
, in 2019 the covid
pendemic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 hit and many
people
 got laid off and the impact can be seen in the economy
all
Change preposition
of all
show examples
 countries.
Therefore
, it is necessary
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
leadership
Replace the word
lead
show examples
 to help unemployed
people
 in finding jobs and employ them.
Finally
, the role of the authority in getting their public finding and working is important. Providing essential assistance
such
 as mobile phone and internet access for individuals so they can be employed and contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of
whole
Add an article
the whole
a whole
show examples
 nation.
Submitted by laxmithapa2921 on

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