Some people think that young people playing electronic and computer games is helpful while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There has been an ongoing debate on whether young individuals entertaining themselves with online
games
is beneficial or just a useless act. The writer of
this
essay argues that entertainment via computers provides many benefits because it aids The intellectual growth of the young and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
show examples
as a refreshment for the minds of the users. It must be recognised that computer
games
do help in developing the intelligence of the players as many variety of
games
require to think in order to progress. What
this
means is it will stimulate the young to render creative remedies to solve puzzles in the game.
As a result
, children when encountering a hassle will consider a plethora of ways to solve it.
In addition
to the growth of intelligence,
games
also
assist with the improvement of hand-eye coordination since it requires individuals to constantly look at a screen
while
controlling their hands to achieve a goal.
This
has been proven by many scientific studies as non-gamers do not have the capability to multitask
while
their gamer counterparts excel in the objective.
In contrast
, many would argue that electronic devices and their applications are a distraction and cause severe eye problems. It cannot be denied that sometimes
games
can attract our attention off work and can distore our time perception resulting in procrastination in work and accompanying
that is
the loss of eyesight and can cause astigmatism.
This
may be true but these issues can be negated by just setting up a schedule and a reminder to get back to work. With regards to eyesight, if used correctly
then
computer
games
would cause little to no harm to the eye. It is
also
vital to consider that online entertainments refresh the brains of youngsters as it provides a means of excitement to relieve stress. Some
games
have songs composed to be as calming and relaxing as they can be and it has been proven that listening to calming compositions will nullify any tension in the cerebrum. Without
games
, the mindset of children will most likely be
overload
Wrong verb form
overloaded
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leading to depression or bad performance in both studies and everyday activities In conclusion, using computer
games
as a means of entertainment has its benefits alongside minor detrimental effects.
This
essay has shown that electronic devices are a staple in the development of young people.
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. This will help illustrate your arguments more clearly and improve the overall task response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you carefully proofread your work. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be improved to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You have done well to present both sides of the argument objectively, which is important for a balanced discussion essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-formulated, helping to frame your argument clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Strategic thinking
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Multiplayer interaction
  • Teamwork
  • Educational games
  • Stress relief
  • Mental health
  • Gaming addiction
  • Physical activity
  • Behavioral issues
  • Desensitization
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Time management
  • Eye strain
  • Posture problems
  • Sleep disturbances
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