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Some people think that fathers should have time off from work after the birth of a baby. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #fathers #time #work #birth #baby
Recently, based on gender equality, husband and wife must have the same level of responsibility for taking care of kids in a family.
Therefore
,
entity
Add an article
an entity
the entity
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 of dad
time
-off from work after a newcomer arrives should be considered. I strongly believe that there are numerous benefits if males spend
time
 at home with their partners of giving
a
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apply
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birth. One of the advantages of
this
 new policy is to eliminate the number of
depressed
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the depressed
a depressed
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mother
Change to a plural noun
mothers
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. Since females must deal with looking after
of
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apply
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a baby, new mothers may be anxious about a lot of housework which they have to do.
Thus
, the presence of
husband
Correct article usage
the husband
show examples
 at that
time
metally
Correct your spelling
mentally
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 and physically supports by sharing those works. More interestingly, some research has shown that having a partner at home boosts
mother’s
Correct article usage
a mother’s
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homonre
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hormone
home
 which
simulating
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stimulating
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 breast milk production,
which
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in which
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 the amount of milk is produced less due to the level of stress of a mother. Another important point to be addressed is
Correct your spelling
interaction
in traction
intraction
Correct article usage
the intraction
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 between a newcomer and his or her’s father. If a dad does not spend much
time
 with babies, he will lose their self-improvement
such
 as crying, speaking, walking and so on.
Additionally
, they may not feel close to
Correct pronoun usage
their
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fathers even though dad
have
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has
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 strived to spend more
time
 after they grew up.
For instance
, I feel more comfortable
to share
Change the verb form
sharing
show examples
 my own problems or stories with my mother rather than my father because I had played with him when I was a child. In conclusion, I totally agree that males should be allowed to break after their wives deliver babies due to its benefits for both mothers and newcomers.
Submitted by sokuntheary94 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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