IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
According to
 several individuals, doing
experiments
 on
animals
 is unethical, and
such
 activities need to be banned. Others,
on the contrary
, argue that sacrificing
animals
 to be experimental objects is necessary for scientists to discover new theories. From my perspective,
such
 experimentation is fine because in order to get breakthrough scientific discoveries, a sacrifice is required as long as the implementation follows several ethical guidelines. The ethical guidelines here refer to a set of rules that must be obeyed by the scientist in conducting their experimentation on a living being. One of the rules I proposed regarding
this
 guideline is the experiment should be done towards relatively insignificant and invasive
animals
,
such
 as mice and rats.
In addition
, scientists
also
 need to control and regulate the population of the experiment subjects so that they will not be extinct eventually. As of now, I do not think there are any alternatives to replace living beings,
animals
in particular
, as the subject of
experiments
.
This
 is because many researchers believe that
animals
 have a close relationship with humans in terms of genetics, one of them being pigs. To get the best and most accurate result, the subject needs to be as similar as possible.
Also
,
this
 experimentation on
animals
 enables the person doing the experiment to carry out the trial-and-error strategy. In sum, making
animals
 the subject of
experiments
 is still allowed as long as the
experiments
 do not harm our ecological environments and put a certain animal population into extinction. Strict guidelines need to be established by the government to make sure all the scientists act
accordingly
.
Submitted by narawriteshare9 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve the logical structure of the essay, include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument by restating the question and clearly summarising your main points in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To strengthen your main points, link them back explicitly to the question and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, expand on your ideas with more depth and detail. Present a balanced view with arguments for both sides of the issue, followed by your own opinion backed by specific reasons and examples.
Task Achievement
Improve the essay by incorporating more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Use studies or real-life cases to illustrate your arguments and show a deeper understanding of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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