IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that the priority of the government should be to ensure a growing economy. While others believe that the government should focus its efforts on uplifting the less fortunate? Discuss both views.

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Some folks believe that leaders should prioritize economic growth as a primary goal.
However
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, there are some who believe their efforts should be made to better the lives of the underprivileged. Here in
this
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 essay, we will discuss both views. On one
hand
Use synonyms
, the economic development of a country is important as it gives the ruling party the money
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to focus on other areas. As the nation grows, more job opportunities are created and
hence
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 the unemployment rate drops. But, most
people
Use synonyms
 from the lower classes may not qualify for the job created and the poor will get poorer.
For example
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, in Bangalore, the IT industry has flourished but
this
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 has not helped the underprivileged
people
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 as the jobs are mostly white-collar jobs and require high qualifications.
On the other
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hand
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, when the government starts to bring up the less fortunate, more of the population
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 employable and a part of the skilled workforce.
This
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 will help in the economic growth.
However
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, many of the programs introduced by the government may go unnoticed by the underprivileged
people
Use synonyms
due to
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 the lack of education. More schemes to provide learning opportunities for the
down-trodden
Correct your spelling
downtrodden
show examples
 will help.
For example
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, many companies have social responsibility programs but they are used to paint the company as a good one in most cases. In conclusion, the growth of the economy and the upliftment of the lower classes of
people
Use synonyms
 should go
hand
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 in
hand
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. In my opinion, both issues are correlated and can fuel the other.

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear and consistent flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • job opportunities
  • standards of living
  • infrastructure
  • public services
  • advocates
  • positive cycle
  • social equity
  • justice
  • government policies
  • reduce poverty
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • equitable distribution
  • balanced approach
  • implementing policies
  • equitably shared
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