IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think its ok to benefit from animals, while others think they should not be exploited. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #ok #benefit #animals
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Some people think
its
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it's
it is
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 ok to
benefit
 from
animals
, while others think they should not be exploited. Discuss both sides and give your opinion There is no doubt that
,
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apply
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animals
 are
very
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a very
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 important part of our ecosystem. Few people
believethat
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believe that
 it is natural to use
animals
 for one’s own
benefit
, while others argue that it’s a form of abuse. In
this
 essay, I will discuss points on both sides of the argument and provide my support
to
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for
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 the former view. From times immemorial, human beings have been depending on
animals
. There is no doubt that we derive great
benefit
 from animal products like milk, medicines, nutritious food. Not only in terms
products
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of products
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,
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 but
also
animals
 are widely used for transportation and agriculture. I think it is impossible to imagine our lives without the need to depend on
animals
.
For instance
, there is no true supplement for animal milk in terms of nutritional value and
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 goes for drugs that use animal products. As mentioned earlier, they form an important part of our ecosystem, and to
me
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,me
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 our ecosystems are designed in a way living beings
benefit
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to benefit
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 from one another and co-exist in harmony. Now that we have looked into why it is impossible for us to imagine life without benefiting from
animals
, let’s now switch to the other side of our argument.
In contrast
, there are few people who are of the opinion that
humans
 should refrain from exploiting
animals
. In my view, that’s true to an extent,
humans
 should not hunt or kill
animals
 for pleasure;
also
 they should not mistreat
animals
 by creating a hostile living environment for them. These actions, in long
term
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,term
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 will harm mankind
,
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apply
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 because these
animals
 that are being killed for pleasure become extinct which will
in turn
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, in turn,
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 result in
unbalanced
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an unbalanced
the unbalanced
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 ecosystem that’s dangerous. It is important for
humans
 to note that they cannot exist without deriving benefits from
animals
, and it is
there
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their
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 responsibility to ensure animal welfare. In conclusion, it is evident that
humans
 cannot exist without deriving benefits from
animals
therefore
 I support the concept of depending on
animals
 for our
benefit
, but as discussed earlier
this
 needs to be carried out without subjecting
animals
 to exploitation.
Submitted by ngochai4354 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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