IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think its ok to benefit from animals, while others think they should not be exploited. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Some people think
its
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it's
it is
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 ok to
benefit
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 from
animals
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, while others think they should not be exploited. Discuss both sides and give your opinion There is no doubt that
,
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apply
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animals
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 are
very
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a very
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 important part of our ecosystem. Few people
believethat
Correct your spelling
believe that
 it is natural to use
animals
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 for one’s own
benefit
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, while others argue that it’s a form of abuse. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss points on both sides of the argument and provide my support
to
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for
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 the former view. From times immemorial, human beings have been depending on
animals
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. There is no doubt that we derive great
benefit
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 from animal products like milk, medicines, nutritious food. Not only in terms
products
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of products
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,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
animals
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 are widely used for transportation and agriculture. I think it is impossible to imagine our lives without the need to depend on
animals
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.
For instance
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, there is no true supplement for animal milk in terms of nutritional value and
same
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the same
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 goes for drugs that use animal products. As mentioned earlier, they form an important part of our ecosystem, and to
me
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,me
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 our ecosystems are designed in a way living beings
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benefit
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to benefit
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 from one another and co-exist in harmony. Now that we have looked into why it is impossible for us to imagine life without benefiting from
animals
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, let’s now switch to the other side of our argument.
In contrast
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, there are few people who are of the opinion that
humans
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 should refrain from exploiting
animals
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. In my view, that’s true to an extent,
humans
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 should not hunt or kill
animals
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 for pleasure;
also
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 they should not mistreat
animals
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 by creating a hostile living environment for them. These actions, in long
term
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,term
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 will harm mankind
,
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apply
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 because these
animals
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 that are being killed for pleasure become extinct which will
in turn
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, in turn,
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 result in
unbalanced
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an unbalanced
the unbalanced
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 ecosystem that’s dangerous. It is important for
humans
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 to note that they cannot exist without deriving benefits from
animals
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, and it is
there
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their
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 responsibility to ensure animal welfare. In conclusion, it is evident that
humans
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 cannot exist without deriving benefits from
animals
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therefore
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 I support the concept of depending on
animals
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 for our
benefit
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, but as discussed earlier
this
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 needs to be carried out without subjecting
animals
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 to exploitation.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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