IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries, it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#countries #children #education #four #years #school #seven #eight
People in different parts of the world recommend different ages for when
children
 should start formal
education
. While some believe it is better not
to begin
 until the
child
 is at least seven or eight years old, I side with those who think
children
 should start as early as when they are only four. In many countries, people assume that making their
children
 start
education
 as late as when they are seven or eight can allow these
children
 to spend more time with their
parents
 and enjoy their early phase of life in a natural way, where there is little or no input from the outside world. They argue that
this
 way,
children
 would not have to follow a
rigidrigit
Correct your spelling
rigid rigid
 schedule and their young and vulnerable minds would not have their creativity taken away.
Moreover
, they think that little
children
 should stay more close to their
parents
 because it is essential to
developdevelope
Correct your spelling
develop develop
 a parent-
child
 bond as early as possible. In their
defensedefence
Correct your spelling
defense defence
defense defense
, they
site
Correct your spelling
cite
show examples
 researches that claim that a
child
 is more likely to be both creative and close to his
/
her
parents
 if not burdened with
education
 early on in his
/
her life.
However
, I believe, if the right teaching methodologies are followed, a
child
 who is put into
education
 earlier in life is better at learning new skills quickly without having any impact on the relationship with the
parents
.
Nevertheless
,
Wwhen
Correct your spelling
When
children
 are put into
education
 early in their lives, they are able to experience new activities
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
,
this
 helps
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 and stimulate their little minds and in return make them more creative. Experiencing new things on regular basis keeps a
child
active
Replace the word
actor
show examples
 since he
/
she is now habitually looking for something new to try out and work with.
Additionally
, an active
child
 communicates far more with his
/
her parent than a one who leaves his
/
her house barely, which in return help the parent-
child
 relationship grow
further
.
For example
, a
child
 who played with clay during school hours would most probably talk about the same thing for the rest of the day and would
also
 tend be
try
Add the particle
totry
show examples
 find out about something similar on his
/
her own.
Therefore
, putting
children
 into
education
 as early as possible can only help them in many ways and should be encouraged. To conclude, while some people believe it is better to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
children
 for formal
education
 as late as when they are at least seven, I believe, involving them they are younger can be more fruitful.
Submitted by mic.jan.thomas on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: