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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #individuals #want
Some
people
 argue that advertisements make
people
 lose their individuality by encouraging them to look and think in the same
way
. Considering the variety of
products
 in advertising and consumers' free will, I completely disagree with
this
 point of view. In the following essay, I will elaborate on it.
To begin
 with, the function of advertisements is to display special features to the public and provide a wide range of choices to potential consumers.
For example
, Uniqlo is one of the most famous clothing brands and its commercials always focus on delivering information about comfort and practicality.
By contrast
, Zara, a well-known high street brand, promotes fashionable clothes to those who prefer to dress stylishly. In
this
way
, it's fair to say that advertisement doesn't make
people
 look the same
; ,
Change the punctuation
;
,
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instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 it diversifies their appearance. Whether
people
 want to be sporty or stylish, choices are out there for them to distinguish themselves from others. Admittedly, advertising with celebrity endorsements influence
people
's shopping habit in some extent, companies in the past always tried to maximize their sales of newly released
products
 by hiring celebrities to run advertising campaigns. Some fanatic fans of these idols would purchase the
products
 without thinking if these were useful to them. In
this
way
, these
people
, by buying the same things, ran the risk of their original identities and becoming less individualistic.
However
, it's important to point out nowadays more and more consumers not only pay attention to who appears in commercials
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but are
also
 be aware of the
products
' quality and practicality. As time goes by, the public will develop a clearer
way
 about whether to trust these advertisements or not and in ,turn they will re-evaluate their own needs or reactions to
this
 kind of publicity.
In contrast
, advertising contributes to shoppers' individuality by providing more choices to satisfy different needs. There can be times when some of them purchase a good because of celebrity charm, but
this
 will not stop them from considering their true purchasing needs in the long run.
Submitted by richard52138 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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