Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

#people #homes #space #garden #yard #balcony

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Nowadays, New types of infrastructure are inaugurated especially by

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apply

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engineer

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engineers

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to make an exorbitant city . Few masses concept that if they make stylish buildings in a particular place, it will give more benefit to them

whereas

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, some opine that it will not be better for the upcoming generation. In my opinion, the houses should not be in the park or agriculture . I intend to analyse briefly the upcoming paragraphs. On top of that, there are multiple reasons why folks should not be flat in their personal zone.

To begin

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with, younger growth can be stopped if they build in isolated areas because when adults are free from education so in the part-time they go to the outdoor field to play different games .

Furthermore

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, becoming less arena can stop not only brain activity but

also

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body growth.

For instance

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, In CHINA the size of the population is larger than the other countries where there are fewer spots at home and they feel anxiety and depression sometimes.

Additionally

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, Elderly people face

this

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problem more frequently than young adults as their immunity is low compared to others

due to

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that, they may face disastrous diseases in their lives.

Such

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as,

the

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tuberculosis problems are surging owing to traffic jams so that geriatric individuals cannot properly breathe in the atmosphere.

Moreover

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, If people had a larger territory for playing games in an outdoor environment , They would work better in the work without any stress.

to conclude

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, I completely disagree with the statement because it will provide more health benefits not only to teenagers but

also

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over 65 years of age people.

Submitted by tanwarneha678 on Sat Sep 16 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay offers a consistent flow of ideas and relatively well-structured paragraphs, yet incorporating more transitional phrases could enhance the overall cohesion.

Task Achievement

Introducing your key points in the introduction and summarizing them in your conclusion can strengthen your argument and make your position clearer.

Task Achievement

Including more specific examples to support your claims can make your argument more persuasive and engaging for the reader.

Language

Monitoring grammatical accuracy and working on sentence structure can improve the readability of your essay.

Task Achievement

You've successfully addressed the topic and provided an evident stance on the issue, which is essential for task achievement.

Task Achievement

Your effort to tackle both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion is commendable and contributes positively to the task response.

Task Achievement

The attempt to include examples, even if they could be more detailed, helps to support your points.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads . Agree or disagree

Tourists damage many historical places, making them harder to preserve. What are some of the reasons for this? Suggest some ways to resolve this problem.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very importatnt for people. Why misht this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

some people believe the government should spend money building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others however think that building more and wider roads is a better way to reduce the traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.