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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people blame the government for the increase in childhood obesity while others think it is the parents’ fault.Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #childhood #obesity #parents’ #fault
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These days , the number of children who are living with obesity is extremely growing . Some people argue that it is the government that have the resources and the power to reduce the expansion of
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 issue , while others claim that only parents can solve
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 problem . In my opinion , I take the view that
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 problem can be solved on the family level. On the one hand , there are some reasons that why people criticize the government for not reacting face to
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 question .
Firstly
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 , if it introduces to the community many campaigns to aware them of the danger of having overweight , teenagers will have the intention to take steps to move towards a healthier weight and
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 combat
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 illness .
Secondly
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 , if the government legislate the advertising of unfavourable eating habits on TV and in public places
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 as unhealthy food , youngsters will be less motivated to eat fast food .
On the other hand
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 , I decline that family who has the major responsibility to combat
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 phenomenon . The strongest reason is that many parents work long hours to feed their children, but they do not realize that the food that they serve is not of high quality.
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 is another reason for the increase in childhood obesity. So father and mother must find the time to cook proper meals for their children. If both of them are busy, they can share
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 responsibility between themselves.
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 way obesity can be controlled or eliminated. that teenagers spend the majority of their time with their families and
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 they get all invaluable habits from them . In conclusion ,
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 that the authority should take part of the responsibility to stop the expansion of
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 issue , I believe that it is the parent's fault and they should put more effort to fight
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 problem .
Submitted by elgalalafatimazahra on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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