IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that the use of mobile phones in public is as annoying as smoking and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

It is no secret that smartphones are both
the
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a
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 blessing and
the
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a
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 curse of the 21st century. It is a blessing as one little device has so many different functions,
Linking Words
however
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however,
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 it is a curse as using it to speak in public is not appropriate, and I am gonna
expplain
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explain
 why. First and foremost, there is, unfortunately, no book of
etiquetee
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etiquette
 out there that some people need to study in school. Sound harsh? Yes, but hear me out: we've all been around individuals who speak so loudly that you can not help but listen to all their dirty laundry
like
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, like
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 who is dating
who
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whom
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, who's back
together with
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who
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whom
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. The list goes on and on. In my mind, these individuals are so
self-centered
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self-centred
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 that they consider their matter to be everyone's matter. Not cool!
Then
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, playing
the
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apply
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music without headphones should be prohibited too. Ah, do not get me even started with
this
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...Imagine you're on the 12-hour ride to Krakow, and a man who is
seating
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sitting
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 next to you, suddenly starts watching his favourite TV serial. In
russian
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Russian
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. Without earphones. Need to say more?
Lastly
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, if you think about it, it is all about the level of stress that a certain person can
take
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handle
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 daily. Traffic jams, work grid, deadlines and now the health problems of a total stranger on your way home? No thanks! That said, I do not believe that talking on your phone in public can be somehow regulated or prohibited by the local authorities and/or government. Maybe some people are having real problems, so let's give them
a
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the
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 benefit of the doubt here. But
this
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 is obviously something to take into account when teaching the kids the basic rules of how to behave around strangers.

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structure
Make a clear start by saying what you think. Then add 2 or 3 big points. End with a short line that restates your view.
coherence
Put ideas in a good order. Use one idea in each paragraph. Use linking words like 'also', 'but', 'so' to show how ideas go together.
content
Use real and clear examples. Show why the example matters to your point.
language
Check spelling and small grammar. Use easy words and say them well.
stance
Your view is clear: you do not think a ban is the best way.
style
Your piece keeps a lively and easy voice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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