In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hairstyles. In your opinion, what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing?

Paris and Rome but not far
Tokyo
Change preposition
from Tokyo
show examples
. In
Europe
Add a comma
,Europe
show examples
there are two main cities that
one
of the principal news are focusing on
fashion
and hairstyles.
Also
in
Asia
Add a comma
,Asia
show examples
we have Tokyo
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is
one
of the main important capitals in that continent not just because of pasarelas but
furthermore
hairstyle, where always there are not just
Japanise
Correct your spelling
Japanese
show examples
but visitors from China, Corea and other countries that enjoy the new tendency of
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
hair cut.
One
of the most profitable business is
fashion
,
that is
covering by magazines, hotels, clothes brands and of course, all the companies related
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
malls where you can see the latest pasarellas and of course buy your new jacket or suite that you will love to use in your
next
dinner night or these special event scheduled with your friends. If you add your new hair cut you will be the sensation of the night. If there are some
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of
fashion
Add an article
the fashion
show examples
industry, I can say that these
business
Change the determiner
businesses
show examples
request a lot of energy and time concern, and
one
of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
is
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
the people inside are so
strictics
Correct your spelling
statistics
critics
and the jobs are so demand, female and males are requested to be more than
profesional
Correct your spelling
professional
, they are always looking for excellences of
one
artist. I can say there is
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of pros and
conts
Correct your spelling
cons
counts
about
this
business, but for all
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
the good thing is that they get energy and
confidences
Fix the agreement mistake
confidence
show examples
when they are wearing the latest design of
Correct article usage
the hair
show examples
hair cut
Correct your spelling
haircut
show examples
presented in the capital of
fashion
.
Submitted by florel1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: