Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #governments #support #people #care

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There are several arguments with regard to the financial support of retirements.

Although

Linking Words

there are some

people

Use synonyms

who think that it is a waste of money, I believe that governments must support them . On the one hand , Some argue that paying wages to aged

people

Use synonyms

who stopped working is not essential and governments should invest

this

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money in other parts. There might be more priority in which officials should spend the national budget on them .

For example

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, in underdeveloped countries where there are not enough schools and hospitals, paying pension might be considered a

last

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priority

such

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as in Africa

people

Use synonyms

even do not have anything to eat or drink . In these places, so, it would be better to improve their sanitation and education systems as well as facilitating hospitals.

Moreover

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,society should be modernised in terms of transportations to make commuting much easier for every citizen. Because, If these infrastructures are not developed or even repaired, a lot of accidents might happen.

On the other hand

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, I agree with those who give the right to old

people

Use synonyms

to receive their pensions. There are a lot of scientists and professors who dedicated most of their precious adolescence to study and improve the life quality of their fellow citizens through their innovations . If they did not do all these activities, now we would not have a prosperous society.

Also

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, as they used to work hard and handle so

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

problems and pressures , they might suffer from several illnesses.

Thus

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, they can not work and if they did not receive at least their own right, how can they afford their life.

Furthermore

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, these individuals did enough for their community and now it is a time to enjoy more from their time and have some relaxation . In conclusion, while it might be argued that it would be better

that

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

the national budget goes on more important issues, I believe that paying the pensions to the elderly is essential and it is their right.

Submitted by s.ghodrati75 on Wed Oct 13 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement
financial support
social responsibility
comfortable and secure
reduces poverty
safety net
limited resources
fairness and equality
personal responsibility
independence
financial planning
saving
burden on the government
control over retirement
economic growth
private investment
combination of approaches

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Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of thi development?

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to your colleagues. In your letter • remind your colleagues what the special occasion you were celebrating was • thank them for the card and gift • explain why you like the gift and how you will use it

It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?