Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #events #waste #money #celebrations #role #lives #individuals #society

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It is

controverial

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controversial

weather

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whether

show examples

people

Use synonyms

should spend

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apply

show examples

vast money on organizing the occasion for celebrating the important days

such

Linking Words

as a wedding, and a birthday

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or these occasional events are essential to

people

Use synonyms

and communities, which should be definitely arranged. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will elaborate

both

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on both

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viewpoints, and

presumably

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,presumably

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advocate why

people

Use synonyms

should have the celebrations. On the one hand, it is hard to reject that the cost of celebrating

organization

Correct article usage

an organization

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is very expensive due to the procurement including foods, beverages, and entertainment that need to be offered to

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

numerous guests.

For example

Linking Words

, my family had to spend

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apply

show examples

half of million baht in order to organize my sister's wedding for just a day, which the list of

payment

Fix the agreement mistake

payments

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consisted of dinner tables for 200 guests, a music band, a hotel room, wedding dresses, diamond rings, and an organizer.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it

seem

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seems

show examples

to be a waste of money for organizing a costly wedding to just let others know that they are married.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, occasional

celebration

Fix the agreement mistake

celebrations

show examples

play a vital role in experiencing unforgettable moments. As we do not have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important events

everyday

Replace the word

every day

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, it is worthwhile to pay for happiness. Obviously, It was

the

Correct article usage

show examples

remarkable moment for my sister, which seemed to be the best day of her life that all family members, friends, and important persons participated

her

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in her

show examples

wedding, and spent

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quality time together.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the married celebration is considered as the tradition for Thai

people

Use synonyms

For giving

Correct your spelling

Forgiving

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Remove the article

apply

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respect to both parents of married couples,

this

Linking Words

wedding

celemony

Correct your spelling

ceremony

should be handled to officially announce that since today, both of them will

became

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become

show examples

the same family.

Hence

Linking Words

, the role of

wedding

Add an article

the wedding

a wedding

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is not only spending remarkable moments together

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apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

preserving the national tradition. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

arranging the celebration will cost a huge amount of budget, I'm still

Change preposition

show examples

the side that handling occasion is essential because it provides

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

valuable experiences to

people

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

Change the verb form

follows

show examples

the national tradition.

Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on Wed Oct 13 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lavish parties
essential expenditures
financial stress
lasting memories
social bonds
emotional support
familial and social ties
mental health
community cohesion
cultural heritage
sense of identity
traditional practices
sense of belonging
continuity
unique cultural aspects
personal well-being
routine
life satisfaction
reasonable budget
cost-effective
potluck parties

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Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think children have the freedomto make mistakes,while other people believethat adults should prevent children from making mistakes.Discuss both sides and giveyour opinion.

The government should impose a fee on drivers who use their vehicles during rush hour to help cut down on air pollution from exhaust fumes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?