Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

All over the world, the piece has been known for a long period through their traditional cultures and learn

Remove the article

music

a piece of music

show examples

music

from other countries whoever visit there. They admire that people can gather who has a distinct lifestyle and generation. In my perspective, I agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

statement and

also

will give the advantages of having

music

this

world.

To begin

with, most citizens from different countries have the tendency in listening

international

Change preposition

to international

show examples

song

Fix the agreement mistake

songs

show examples

more than

last

Change preposition

in last

show examples

decades. They want to change their

music

styles which not familiar with traditional ones in their own country. For an instant, Korean song is worldwide because they have a unique beat and is fascinating when the artist performs on the stage and differ in each album. The song is powerful which based on

Change preposition

apply

show examples

lifestyle.

Hence

, who is

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

fan of artists can persuade other ones to join

group

Add an article

the group

show examples

Furthermore

, the

music

has created the rhythm and melody which can motivate a brain in varying activities. Several

researches

Change the wording

types of research

pieces of research

kinds of research

show examples

have a result

that is

the brain can relax

itself

Remove the pronoun

apply

show examples

and

also

be activated by

listening

Add the preposition

tolistening

show examples

a tune.

For example

, psychologists investigated brain waves when they listened in various circumstances. The result was chemicals and wave signs that

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

related to happiness and relaxation. In

this

study, the brains have been building

such

as enjoyment, peace and excite who typically listen and play

music

are accessible to make friends and enjoy with their life than those who do not.

Therefore

, the

music

makes

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

be extroverted even though they have not known before. In conclusion, there are many benefits to improve their skills to be sociable and learning the new matters in life. Indeed, we should have the musical club for exchange experiences and

also

encourage the producer as well.

Submitted by tugsaphorn.sun on Thu Oct 14 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In today's very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed.among the skills do you think is more important, social skills or good qualification?

Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivatethe youth who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree? Include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion.

some people believe that it is good to shere as much information as possible in scintific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace in the future. Others think the true function of a university is to provide access to knowledge for its own sake. What do you think are the main functions of a university?