IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

"Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted to do.To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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For many decades, society has been built based on principles and
laws
Use synonyms
. Many
people
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 believe that the community cannot function without proper constraints, which means they can freely do what they like. I would agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea. On the one hand, it is easy to illustrate how the world would function without the basic principles.
Firstly
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, since there is no rule or law, the most affected prospect would be education, which is equivalent to no place for school or curriculum.
For example
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, a child being raised with no idea of what they should do for a living,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would only focus on how to find food as their basic need.
As a result
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, there would be the disappearance of many industries,
such
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 as health care, education, and travel.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that
laws
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 and principles have played a crucial role in developing society for many centuries.
To begin
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 with, thanks to a proper education system, children have a chance to be orientated
what
Change preposition
in what
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 they should do for a living in the future.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
child wants to be a doctor, he can know what route to become a doctor with
instruction
Fix the agreement mistake
instructions
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.
As a result
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,
people
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 can have a proper job to enjoy their lives properly.
Moreover
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,
although
Linking Words
people
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 live under the control of
laws
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, they are still
welcomed
Replace the word
welcome
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 to expose their opinions.
Therefore
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, it might have the least chance to cause contradictions among
people
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. In conclusion, I would strongly agree with the idea that a society is built on the basis of rules and
laws
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, it could not function if individuals are not restricted.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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