Getting promotion is one of the biggest drives to apply themselves and work hard in the modern work place. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?

In the working world, there are many positions in the world with different salaries, responsibilities, and career paths. Many
people
are keen to get promoted to get a better
salary
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or have progressed in their career. The following paragraph will be discussing why
people
are so driven to have better position and the factor that affects
people
to
work
hard.
Therefore
, the conclusion has been reached.
To begin
with, it is undeniable that in
this
day
people
working because
salary
, and in order to have a better
salary
is to get promoted or be someone that very crucial for their
work
. So,
this
is the main reason why
people
are eager to get promoted.
For example
, many
people
who get promoted usually will have a
salary
that rising from 30% to 100%. After receiving a new
salary
. It will make them have financial stability. As the former paragraph said
people
want a higher
salary
. So, they
work
hard to get promoted and receives a high
salary
.
However
, there are
also
other factors that affect
people
to
work
hard like a career path, reputation, and their interests. Many
people
want to get promoted to know that they will have a bright future for them or they just want to be known as someone that important in their field.
Otherwise
, about their interest, there are lots of responsibilities that before getting promote cannot do, and if they want to do, they need to get promoted. These
also
include the essential factors. In summary, I believe that all of the factors that I have discussed is the reason why
people
are so motivated to get promoted.
Submitted by pondssp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: