It is impossible to help all people around the world in need so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Introduction

Many people suggest that governments should prioritize their own

citizenry

Replace the word

citizens

show examples

rather than offering aid to foreign countries. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement, as

this

Linking Words

issue sometimes harms nations

instead

Linking Words

of doing good.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

, international interventions will mostly end up either exploiting charity or becoming overdependent. Governments will take advantage of charitable donations to maintain their autocratic positions.

For instance

Linking Words

, the Iraqi government has been assisted in the

last

Linking Words

decade with money and food, but these donations didn't reach the intended targets.

As a result

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, politicians were the

first

Linking Words

beneficiaries.

Subsequently

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, they strengthen their positions by suppressing opposition.

Body paragraph 2

Secondly

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, there is a strong likelihood of establishing dependence.

Consequently

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, countries will be subservient

in dependent

Correct your spelling

independent

show examples

relationships.

However

Linking Words

, there are different tactics that governments should manage to help the general populace. Public and private entities play major roles in fighting poverty. Running

champains

Correct your spelling

campaigns

champions

through social media platforms to raise funds to support small businesses. Wealthy residents have the priority of contributing to welfare organisations and helping people from other layers of society. In my country,

for example

Linking Words

, there is a new law that requires banks to provide financial assistance to startups in order to start new businesses. In

this

Linking Words

way, they can employ individuals and reduce unemployment.

Thus

Linking Words

, more jobs will be available. In turn, workers will contribute to the prosperity of the country and lead happy lives.

Conclusion

In conclusion, helping nations in other countries will affect them negatively.

Therefore

Linking Words

, authorities should focus more on their own citizens than on people in other parts of the world.

hudakarboly

Oct 21, 2021

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

limited resources
moral obligation
global stability
economic impact
domestic issues
international aid
diplomatic relationships
resource allocation
healthcare
education
infrastructure
national priorities
desperate need
indirect benefit
goodwill

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It is impossible to help all people around the world in need so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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