IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that dangerous sports should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree. give reason some relevant examples.

#people #sports #reason
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Sports
Use synonyms
 not only improve the skills and abilities of athletes
,
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 but
also
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 help them kerb their lust for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thrill, adventure and passion.
Sports
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 competitions often result in brilliant and breathtaking performances which only amuse their viewers but help competitors to explore and gauge their true potential. Few people believe that risky
sports
Use synonyms
 should be prohibited, while others do not agree with imposing a ban.
This
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 essay will analyse the merits and demerits associated with menacing games to present an opinion in a conclusive way. People believe that threatening games like boxing, wrestling, rafting, bullfighting; car racing and so on should be prohibited as there are myriad risks associated with it. Proponents of
this
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 viewpoint argue that these sporting activities not only put the
life
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 of the contestant in jeopardy but at times
also
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 harm its
spectators
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 that have flocked from different places to watch their favourites in action. They say that sportsmen get severely injured and often killed, loss of
life
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 or an injury leads them to a miserable
life
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 and results in the destruction of their families.
For instance
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, several horrific accidents in Formula One Grand Prix car race have resulted in the loss of
life
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 of several
spectators
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 and drivers.
Moreover
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, these fatal accidents sometimes demoralise others to take part in different games. Another example is wrestling where hard punches on the head often cause mental and nervous systems disorders.
On the contrary
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, another school of thought believes that these
sports
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 should not be banned as they help sportsmen to kerb their desire for thrill and adventure. They say that people love challenges and they want to gauge their core skills and explore their strengths through these
sports
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. These sporting activities depict the real courage and zeal of the competitors. It improves their decision-making skills under extreme conditions because a single wrong move can have severe consequences.
Moreover
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, they argue that rather than banning these
sports
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, organisers and professional athletes should adopt safety measures like using protective guards, deploying reinforced walls in front of
spectators
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 on a race track and so on.
Furthermore
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, stunning performances showcased in these events wins the heart of thousands and make them happy. To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides a plausible argument over both views. I personally believe that unsafe
sports
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 should not be banned rather proper safety measures and regulations should be implemented to make them safe for athletes and
spectators
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.
Submitted by elshad.aslanov77 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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