Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction

In our society, we often see numerous famous

people

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frequently pursued by photographers everywhere. Some individuals suggested that

this

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is disturbing their

privacy

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On the other hand

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, many folks point out that because of fame

this

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is a cost which they have to pay.

This

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essay will provide both negative and positive sides, and I will elaborate on my perspective in the following paragraphs.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with, first one's point of view on

this

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issue. In the digital era,

people

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tend to care a lot more about

privacy

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In particular

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, individuals spend more time on social media platforms to communicate and interact with each other. These groups of

people

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pay more attention to protecting their

privacy

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, and someone who is a famous person

in particular

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For example

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, well-known

people

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should have personal time without disturbing or annoying from everything. Especially, when they are going on vacation with family.

Body paragraph 2

However

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, another group of

people

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point out that the well-known person receives more advantages from the community and the public.

Therefore

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, it is fair to pay back to society.

this

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is a price that they must pay to get plenty of benefits from the public.

In addition

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, it can not be avoided because they are more likely to interest

people

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For instance

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, a multitude of celebrities become a riched one because they easily get money from their personality.

Conclusion

In conclusion, some

people

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suggest that

privacy

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should be protected by well-known

people

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in particular

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Nevertheless

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, a lot of

people

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confirm that

this

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is a price that famous

people

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have to pay back to society.

mahawichet

Dec 4, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs, each one addressing a single point or argument. Transition smoothly between ideas and make sure that the connections between points are clear to the reader.

coherence cohesion

Include an introductory paragraph that clearly states the points that will be discussed as well as a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the writer's opinion.

coherence cohesion

Develop main points by supporting them with clear, relevant examples and explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting details to elaborate on it.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay fully responds to all parts of the task. The writer should discuss both views on the issue, and clearly state their own opinion, providing relevant reasons and examples.

task achievement

Your ideas should be communicated clearly, and should be comprehensive. Avoid ambiguous language or unsupported generalizations. Each paragraph should focus on one clear idea or argument. This will add clarity and depth to your argumentation.

task achievement

Relevant examples enhance the argument. Use specific examples to support your ideas where possible, making sure they are directly related to the point you are trying to make.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

invasion of privacy
personal space
media scrutiny
mental health
public figures
relentless pursuit
legal implications
ethical considerations
tabloid journalism
financial gain
public interest

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