Many people nowadays don't feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons? What can we do to solve this problem?

#people #home

Safety has become more concerned than ever before no matter

people

are staying home or travelling around.

This

negative feeling could be resulted from

media

or from real dangers in relation to our vulnerability in

this

time of technology and online connectedness. For each reason, the solutions differ.

Crime

has always existed along with the history of

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

but the tendency of

media

nowadays makes us feel that

crime

is getting more severe. In fact, bad

news

and

crime

are covered heavily

Change preposition

show examples

newspapers, TV and online

news

because

this

kind of content often attracts more attention from

audience

Add an article

the audience

show examples

. The more views reporters get, the more advertisements they can sell to companies. The frequency of bad

news

media

could not only mislead

people

about the chance of

crime

in their

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

but

also

affect

viewers’mind

Correct your spelling

viewers mind

unconsciously. To solve

this

problem, citizens should be educated to be critical when reading or seeing

news

Add an article

the news

show examples

. They should have other reliable sources of

information

such

as local police offices

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that they can be informed properly about the security and threats in their area.

Besides

people

should equip themselves with measures of

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

such

as learning a kind of martial art, staying with a group rather than going alone, and being cautious when in contact with a stranger. The

second

reason why

people

feel insecure is we are becoming more vulnerable due to the

information

we share via the Internet. Most adults nowadays spend many hours online for work, entertainment and shopping. By using social networking websites, we upload and share a lot of personal

information

for example

, our home, places we go and members of our family. Even when we do not actively share these kinds of

information

, every act we do on the Internet is recorded and made use

Change preposition

of.

show examples

In the worst scenario, hackers could take advantage of leaks and use our identity to cheat

people

in subtle ways. To handle

this

issue,

information

security and user protection should be paid more attention

Change preposition

to by

show examples

experts and governments. Similar to physical dangers and threats, Internet users themselves should be aware of risks when being online and have their own measures. In conclusion, the fear of

people

nowadays might be real or due to the effect of

media

. No matter

the

Correct pronoun usage

what the

show examples

reason is, self-awareness and

self-defense

Change the spelling

self-defence

show examples

are the most important.

Submitted by tran.ngoc2512 on Mon Oct 25 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

387 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people nowadays don't feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons? What can we do to solve this problem?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

There is a trend of increasing amounts of consumer goods, which leads to environmental problems. What are the reasons for this trend? Give your own opinion and solutions.

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?