IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that instead of seeing the internet as a way of opening up new possibilities worldwide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #internet #possibilities #effect #interaction
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Over the
last
 two or three decades, technology has been developing tremendously due to people's
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
show examples
 are
also
 increased day-by-day. some think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
using the
internet
 as a form of creating up unique chances to around the world
instead
 of should be focused on
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 interaction effect. I strongly agree with
this
 statement for the following reasons.
To begin
 with, there are more effects of having on social communication and we should be given more attention on
this
.
Firstly
,
this
 can be reduced the physical interaction between close
circle
Fix the agreement mistake
circles
show examples
 even within a family due to most prefers to talk by social media,
thus
, the families bonding could be stopped.
For instance
, a
recend
Correct your spelling
recent
 report by
Times
Correct article usage
the Times
show examples
 of India said that more than 70% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults do not like to spend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time with their family members
in contrast
 they prefer to use
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
internet
. These are the effects
on
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of
show examples
 social interaction
by
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on
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Secondly
, some
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terrible habit
such
 as addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 for various reasons, they
canoot
Correct your spelling
can't
cannot
 live without
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 in
this
 modern era because they use to practice.
For instance
,in Indian people are always used
internet
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 for
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
personal and professional reasons in order to they will be lost many things especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness.
In addition
, social communication brings more stress and
deperssion
Correct your spelling
depression
 in order to the population will be suffered tremendously. To conclude,
an
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the
show examples
internet
 gives a plethora
amenities
Change preposition
of amenities
show examples
 for humans, the public gets more from
this
. Addiction and losing the families bonding
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the effects of having on social communication so we should be
foused
Correct your spelling
focused
 on
this
.
Therefore
, I strongly agree with
this
 statement in the above-mentioned details. I hope the public is using
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 correct way and minimum amount of time.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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