IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum overweight the disadvantages??

#museums #charge #admission #people #museum
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It has been
a
Correct article usage
apply
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debateable
Correct your spelling
debatable
 whether
museums
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 charge for admission or others
are
Change the verb form
is
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 free for it. Despite charging for entry
fees
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has
Wrong verb form
having
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 some drawbacks, I think that the advantages do overweight the disadvantages. One of the drawbacks of charging for entering
to
Change preposition
apply
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museums
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 is that it is like
limitation
Add an article
a limitation
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 for some persons especially for students who are unable to afford the
fees
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although
Linking Words
 they would try to visit it.
For example
Linking Words
, as for some students who need to make
money
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 for their education and they are unable to spend their
money
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 for other expenditures like going to the cinema or museum.
Therefore
Linking Words
, entry
fees
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 should be free for students like
library
Correct article usage
the library
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 so that they can access to get into the museum whenever they want to visit.
However
Linking Words
, there are some benefits for
museums
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 by asking
in
Change preposition
for
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 payment for admissions.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the benefits is that it can
improved
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be improved
improve
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 by demanding
fees
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 from visitors.
For instance
Linking Words
, there should be enough
money
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 to improve
museums
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 like upgrading it or adding some
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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 items
otherwise
Linking Words
 it will not be prolonged.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it can be beneficial for
well-maintenance
Correct article usage
the well-maintenance
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 of the
museums
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. If everyone can access free
to
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apply
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museums
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, there will not be
budget
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a budget
the budget
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 to allocate for
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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 and maintenance of the
museums
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 and it will be worthless for people since they are able to get access free of charge. To sum up, demanding
money
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 for entering
to
Change preposition
apply
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museums
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 as admissions
fees
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 has some negative effects
nevertheless
Linking Words
, I do believe that there are many positive effects and the advantages do overweight than disadvantages.
Submitted by sandarmyint740 on

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