We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Someone believes that we should focus on the destiny of our own societies and nations because of the inability to assist others worldwide. I completely disagree with

this

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idea and I assume that human beings are obliged to care for others. I regard that we are supposed to take others’ needs into consideration. Living in a shared world, our fates are bound up with each other.

In other words

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, we are independent of each other.

For instance

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，during the pandemic, some metropolises in China Wuhan, Beijing were heavily struck. At

this

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critical point, our neighbouring country Japan initiated to send a tremendous amount of masks to us. If it were not for their timely assistance, we may find it hard to move forward. In the future, when Japan come across some obstacles, we Chinese will definitely lend a helping hand in return. With

this

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kind of mutual help, we are creating a wonderland full of warmth and humanity. If we fail to pay attention to other communities’ and countries’ needs, there may appear some inevitable problems. For starters, we may lose the valuable resource of education. Education resources are essential to an individual’s overall growth and they are distributed unevenly worldwide. When we are blind to others’ demands, we may lose access to a better quality of education as well.

Secondly

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this

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can

also

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be detrimental to economic development. In the era of economic globalization, products and commodities are transported throughout the countries. If we refuse to cooperate with other countries and only focus on the domestic market, we are losing economic potential. In conclusion, we’d better care for other groups and nations to gain a win-win situation

although

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we cannot always meet up others’ needs.

Submitted by eyesme on Tue Nov 02 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?