It is often thought that an increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. To what extent do you agree or disasgree ?

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Introduction

It is often said that violence in the media relates to an increase in youth crime.

This

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writer agrees with

this

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statement because the various kinds of violent news are hard to control and it is hard to release how they affect people.

Body · 1

It must be understood that with the improving technology, publishing from anywhere in the world can be easily consumed.

For example

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, we can see the NBA, the competition of basketball in America, in another continent, Asia, which is very far from it.

Therefore

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, even though there is still useful information, we can not avoid interacting with bad knowledge.

In addition

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, teenagers have a lot of free time and using social media or other kinds of entertainment,

such

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as watching films or listening to music, is one of the most impressive ways to waste that time.

Body · 2

Another point to take into consideration is the method of effect's radio, which is really hard to release. As more time young people spend, as less communication they are.

According to

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some research on prisons, young crime was autism,

although

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there were always some people ready to help them, their parents, and friends,... They rejected all of them and did not release that they were affected by the publishing.

Furthermore

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, teenagers are not mature enough to escape from

this

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situation.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the large amount of television affects various aspects to create a young atrocity. That's why, violence in media is one of the main reasons for to increase in the rate of young breaches.

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Feb 28, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay could benefit significantly from a clearer and more structured argument. Consider starting with a brief introduction where you clearly state your position on the topic. Then, organize your body paragraphs around clear, specific arguments that support your thesis. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that summarizes its main idea.

task achievement

Try to support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. General statements can be powerful, but they are much more convincing when backed up by specific, real-world examples or statistics. This will also help your essay meet the task requirements more fully.

coherence cohesion

Watch out for grammatical errors and ensure that your sentences are complete and your ideas clearly expressed. Errors in grammar can distract from your argument and make your essay harder to follow.

task achievement

Make sure to address the prompt directly in your essay. While you agree with the statement, offering a broader range of arguments and considering counterarguments could provide a more complete response to the question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

juvenile delinquency
media desensitization
aggression
parental supervision
media consumption
critical media literacy
socio-economic conditions
family environment
psychological issues
international comparisons

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It is often thought that an increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. To what extent do you agree or disasgree ?

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. DO ADV >< DISADV

Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?