Large companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are of the opinion that advertising
products
in occasional
sports
events
have disadvantaged impacts on
sports
. From my perspective, while
this
argument can be explained for some reasons, I very disagree with
this
statement because big
companies
will bring a lot of benefits for economics and organization as well as members belonging to national teams. It is understandable that why some people subscribe to the view that commercials in
sports
events
are not relevant for watchers, especially youngsters, who are part of audiences of almost
Correct quantifier usage
all sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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events
.
This
is because several manufacturers’
products
are not good for health
such
as
:
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apply
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tobacco, wine.
This
can lead to unpredictable consequences, which easily attracted the young generation to form an unhealthy lifestyle or less-minded actions when they use it.
However
, I find
this
argument somewhat compelling points since mass big corporations advertising in
sports
tournaments can help them increase the numbers of both potential domestic and international customers to
coming
Add the preposition
tocoming
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their
products
,
this
is largely contributes
Change the verb form
is largely contributing
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to the economic growth of the nation. Another significant advantage is that allowing big
companies
to participate in
sports
events
can split the cost of organizations or transmit motivation to
players
. If one tournament has some good
players
or gets a championship league, large corporations will express supports through several
gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
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or money, which
companies
donate for impressive or good
players
in order to pay for preparations of the
next
tournaments or practice and equipment
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.
Furthermore
, it is seemly like a means of transport bringing footballers that become more closer with the public and they play a role model in the young generation, especially fashion, lifestyle and some positive messages. In the
way
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,way
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that big
companies
use player’s images to put into commercials or invite celebrity
players
to take part in their product TV show. In conclusion, there are several advantages from big corporations attending
sports
events
to advertise their
products
is that increasing economic growth and sharing the
costly
Replace the word
cost
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of tournaments as well as contributing some supports as sport’s image and gift for
national
Add an article
the national
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team.
Submitted by haovtm14401 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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