IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating much fast food. It is therefore, necessary for governments to impose higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
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Nowadays, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 consume fast
food
Use synonyms
 too much because it is easily and quickly prepared. Eating
this
Linking Words
food
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 causes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
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problems
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such
Linking Words
 as obesity. In my point of view, it is not necessary that the governments increase
tax
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 on
this
Linking Words
 type of
food
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 for solving the
problems
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.
To begin
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 with, the high
tax
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 on fast
food
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 is directly
advantage
Correct article usage
an advantage
show examples
 for governments but not
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
people
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. The
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 thought that it is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 effective method for
decresing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 the number of
people
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 who
suffering
Change the form of the verb
suffer
show examples
 from the
problems
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 of
health
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.
In addition
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, it does not
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
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the rich because
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can buy a lot of fast
food
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 with high
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 and pay
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical care.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the wealthy person who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 enough money to purchase everything that they want
such
Linking Words
 as sandwiches,
hambergurs
Correct your spelling
hamburgers
, and pizza, while
another
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 must work harder for money.
However
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, it can be
also
Linking Words
 be argued that there are other ways to improve the
health
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problems
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 in countries. The government should invest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 zone in the community
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
park and
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
show examples
.
People
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 can make friends and exercise in
this
Linking Words
 area, it can
be improve
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
 the
health
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problems
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 and start
Add an article
a relationship
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with other
people
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. The
campaign
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 is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 interesting idea
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
invite
Wrong verb form
inviting
show examples
 the person to join.
For example
Linking Words
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should
built
Change the verb form
build
show examples
 the campaigns like running
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campaign
Add an article
a campaign
the campaign
show examples
 and should give
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big surprise gift
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the person who
win
Change the verb form
wins
show examples
 the
campaign
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. In the conclusion, I strongly disagree that it is more
advantage
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 for the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
impose
Fix the infinitive
to impose
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high
tax
Use synonyms
 on fast
food
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. The improvement of
surffering
Correct your spelling
suffering
people
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 with
health
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 many ways
such
Linking Words
 as investing with
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 facilities and
bulid
Correct your spelling
build
 the interesting
campaign
Use synonyms
 for exercise.
Submitted by fahmaiganya on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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