IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on their children. Why is the reason for doing that? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?

#parents #pressure #children #reason #development
In
this
 ever-changing world, too much is expected from
children
 than in past generations. Obviously, many
parents
 are responsible for the heavy
pressure
 their
children
 are under.
This
 essay will discuss not only the main causes of the older generation putting
pressure
 on the young
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but some negative effects of
this
 issue. There are two main reasons behind
this
 phenomenon.
First
 of all, in
such
 a society with fierce competition, the young are faced with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unstable prospects. Considering the fact, quite a number of
parents
 believe that
children
 must have excellent academic performance unless they want to be stuck in a low paying service job. In
such
 cases, the young are motivated to work hard to meet their
parents
' demands. Another important reason causing burnout is
parents
' high expectations. It is common for
parents
 to expect that their sons and daughters can outperform their peers, and they often sign their
children
 up for after-school classes--sports, piano and dance, reducing their time for recreation. The negative impacts of heavy
pressure
 on
children
 can not be neglected.
To begin
 with, in order to get exam results right, some
children
 spend too much time on study, so they are more vulnerable to health problems,
such
 as short-sightedness and obesity.
furthermore
, over-scheduled
children
 often feel exhausted when having to attend extra classes after a tiring day at school,
therefore
, they are more likely to be overwhelmed by physiological and psychological stress. From what has been mentioned above, we can come to the conclusion that
children
 are under too much parental
pressure
 for several reasons, and it is evident that stress from
parents
 has a variety of drawbacks.
This
 problem should be taken seriously by both
parents
 and
children
 to prevent it from deteriorating
further
.
Submitted by dancedance5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: