IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#punishment #death #penalty #lives #crimes #violence #control #society
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Nowadays, there is considerable debate on ever-increasing
crimes
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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. In
this
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 regard, some people assert that capital punishment is the answer to curb the
increase
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increased
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of
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in
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rate
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the rate
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 of
crimes
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 and improve security.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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 statement because alternate punishments and
counseling
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counselling
show examples
seems
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seem
show examples
 to be better options.
Firstly
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,
severity
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the severity
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 of
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crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 shall be considered before concluding the punishment. Can we hang a person if he or she has committed a petty
crime
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? No,
this
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 is not justifiable.
Hence
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, to decrease the
violence
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 An article published in the newspaper 'The Tribune' is
perfect
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a perfect
the perfect
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 example
to
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of
show examples
this
Linking Words
, where it was printed about a survey which alleged that 95
percent
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per cent
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 of prisoners after spending 2 years in jail are willing to live a civilized life
,
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apply
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 if released.
Therefore
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, to restrain the
violence
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 in the
society
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, imprisonment of
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
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 period tends to be a better option than hanging the offender till death.
Secondly
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,
counseling
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counselling
show examples
 the criminal may change the
criminals
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 which
further
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 could lead to
alter
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altering
show examples
 the rate of
crimes
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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. Listening to
criminals
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 and showing empathy towards them could be one of
options
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the options
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 to minimize the
violence
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 being spread in
the
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apply
show examples
society
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. Through
this
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, root causes of
crimes
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 may be found and necessary action could be initiated so that these
crimes
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 shall not happen in future leading to
safer
Correct article usage
a safer
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 and
crime
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-free environment.
For example
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,
Last
Linking Words
 year, a rehabilitation program was started by local police of Delhi where 4 sessions
where
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were
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 held by
crime
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 experts with
criminals
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 and it was found that in most
of
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apply
show examples
cases
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the cases
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crime
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 was committed by law-breakers to prevent their family from
hunger-death
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being hunger-death
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.
Hence
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,
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
 the law-offenders is
suitable
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a suitable
the suitable
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 way to change them and
the
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apply
show examples
society
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's safety
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
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. To conclude, it can be reiterated that there are more effective ways to treat
criminals
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 and make
society
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 a better place to live.
Hence
Linking Words
, capital punishment is not a concrete solution to end
violence
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Pooja Dhindsa on

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