IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

All children should learn a second language at school. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #second #language #school
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The maps
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 public recreation which was opened in 1920 and
then
Linking Words
 it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
renovating
Wrong verb form
renovated
show examples
 recently. Overall, the
park
Use synonyms
 developed substantially from
old-fashion
Correct article usage
an old-fashion
show examples
 settlement to
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
show examples
 one between 1920 and
present
Correct article usage
the present
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 time.
Similarly
Linking Words
, recreational
ground
Fix the agreement mistake
grounds
show examples
 and
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 for eating increase. In 1920, the facilities in
Use synonyms
park
Correct article usage
the park
show examples
 were not organized correctly.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Rose gardens were speared in three different areas of
Use synonyms
park
Add an article
the park
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;
moreover
Linking Words
, benches were set all over the place with a huge space between them.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the west that was
stage
Add an article
the stage
a stage
show examples
 for
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
show examples
 and in front of it Fountain was constructed. The north of
area
Correct article usage
the area
show examples
 contains
Correct article usage
a pond
show examples
pond
Fix the agreement mistake
ponds
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 for water plants, while the Glasshouse was the south of the map near the
second
Linking Words
 entrance which had accessibility to ELDON Street. In stark contrast, there are
diversity
Add an article
a diversity
the diversity
show examples
 of changes in
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
park
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 entrance for car parking is built in
southeast
Correct article usage
the southeast
show examples
 of the region; meanwhile, Amphitheatre for concerts is reconstructed with a number of seats for audiences and a big stage for
Add an article
a musician
the musician
show examples
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
show examples
. In the middle of the
park
Use synonyms
, a new Rose garden is reformed with four seats around it. In the north, Café is constructed near
Linking Words
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 entrance which
Add a missing verb
is open
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open
Change the verb form
opens
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 to ARNOLD Avenue; whereas,
pond
Add an article
the pond
a pond
show examples
 is demolished completely and
children
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
 area is
recharge
Wrong verb form
recharged
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, in the southeast of
this
Linking Words
 region, water
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
 put up with natural plants.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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