IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

All children should learn a second language at school. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #second #language #school
The maps
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 public recreation which was opened in 1920 and
then
 it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
renovating
Wrong verb form
renovated
show examples
 recently. Overall, the
park
 developed substantially from
old-fashion
Correct article usage
an old-fashion
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 settlement to
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
show examples
 one between 1920 and
present
Correct article usage
the present
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 time.
Similarly
, recreational
ground
Fix the agreement mistake
grounds
show examples
 and
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 for eating increase. In 1920, the facilities in
park
Correct article usage
the park
show examples
 were not organized correctly.
Additionally
, Rose gardens were speared in three different areas of
park
Add an article
the park
show examples
;
moreover
, benches were set all over the place with a huge space between them.
In addition
, in the west that was
stage
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the stage
a stage
show examples
 for
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
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 and in front of it Fountain was constructed. The north of
area
Correct article usage
the area
show examples
 contains
Correct article usage
a pond
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pond
Fix the agreement mistake
ponds
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 for water plants, while the Glasshouse was the south of the map near the
second
 entrance which had accessibility to ELDON Street. In stark contrast, there are
diversity
Add an article
a diversity
the diversity
show examples
 of changes in
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
park
.
Firstly
,
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 entrance for car parking is built in
southeast
Correct article usage
the southeast
show examples
 of the region; meanwhile, Amphitheatre for concerts is reconstructed with a number of seats for audiences and a big stage for
Add an article
a musician
the musician
show examples
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
show examples
. In the middle of the
park
, a new Rose garden is reformed with four seats around it. In the north, Café is constructed near
first
Add an article
the first
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 entrance which
Add a missing verb
is open
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open
Change the verb form
opens
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 to ARNOLD Avenue; whereas,
pond
Add an article
the pond
a pond
show examples
 is demolished completely and
children
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
 area is
recharge
Wrong verb form
recharged
show examples
.
Finally
, in the southeast of
this
 region, water
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
 put up with natural plants.
Submitted by dastyar.zahra on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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