IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

All children should learn a second language at school. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #second #language #school
The maps
illustrates
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illustrate
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 public recreation which was opened in 1920 and
then
 it
have
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has
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 been
renovating
Wrong verb form
renovated
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 recently. Overall, the
park
 developed substantially from
old-fashion
Correct article usage
an old-fashion
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 settlement to
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
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 one between 1920 and
present
Correct article usage
the present
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 time.
Similarly
, recreational
ground
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grounds
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 and
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 for eating increase. In 1920, the facilities in
park
Correct article usage
the park
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 were not organized correctly.
Additionally
, Rose gardens were speared in three different areas of
park
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the park
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;
moreover
, benches were set all over the place with a huge space between them.
In addition
, in the west that was
stage
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the stage
a stage
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 for
musician
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musicians
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 and in front of it Fountain was constructed. The north of
area
Correct article usage
the area
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 contains
Correct article usage
a pond
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pond
Fix the agreement mistake
ponds
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 for water plants, while the Glasshouse was the south of the map near the
second
 entrance which had accessibility to ELDON Street. In stark contrast, there are
diversity
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a diversity
the diversity
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 of changes in
new
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the new
a new
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park
.
Firstly
,
new
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a new
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 entrance for car parking is built in
southeast
Correct article usage
the southeast
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 of the region; meanwhile, Amphitheatre for concerts is reconstructed with a number of seats for audiences and a big stage for
Add an article
a musician
the musician
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musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
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. In the middle of the
park
, a new Rose garden is reformed with four seats around it. In the north, Café is constructed near
first
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the first
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 entrance which
Add a missing verb
is open
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open
Change the verb form
opens
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 to ARNOLD Avenue; whereas,
pond
Add an article
the pond
a pond
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 is demolished completely and
children
Correct article usage
the children
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 area is
recharge
Wrong verb form
recharged
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.
Finally
, in the southeast of
this
 region, water
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
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 put up with natural plants.
Submitted by dastyar.zahra on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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