Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #idea #work

It is widely believed that elder citizens extend work till their strength in the body for them. I strongly agree with

this

view of point, as I believe that aged people can work in a good manner after retirement

also

. First of all,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

old

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

can create more positive vibrations for the young population related to their job.

This

is because they do not depend on

others

Change noun form

others'

other's

show examples

money,

this

can lead to creating a problem in their family.

For example

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

older public stay in large cities is more expensive compared to a rural area, because of that fact

needs

Correct subject-verb agreement

need

show examples

more money in their life.

While

it is true that senior nation managing their health is difficult, so taking rest is

also

essential for them.

Furthermore

, if the persons are idle without doing any job,

which

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

leads to getting easily bored. A key reason for that does not have any responsibility for the next generation.

For instance

, in past everyone lived in a

join

Correct your spelling

joint

show examples

family, but now the current situation is totally different where family members

moved

Wrong verb form

move

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

everywhere

depend

Wrong verb form

depending

show examples

upon their facilities.

While

there is no question that older human beings are good

to work

Change preposition

at working

show examples

it is clear that

their family

also

support their effectiveness. In conclusion, the younger

also

provides

Correct subject-verb agreement

provide

show examples

more support to the older human kids for working after retirement, which will

also

have a positive effect on their family members. In my opinion, I think that both the older and younger person does not depend upon others, and

this

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

to maintain a good relationship with the community.

Submitted by mukilan2007 on Wed Nov 10 2021

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task response

For a higher score, ensure the essay directly addresses the prompt. Discuss both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion with supporting reasons.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas by structuring the essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs with supporting points, and a concluding paragraph.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree ?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Although many people value public parks, some argue that this space could be better used for housing or businesses to support the growing population and economy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now , and how it will look after redevelopment .

In some cities, government has tried to tax the owners of the vehicles, for example to reduce the traffic congestion. Do you think it is a positive or a negative impact?

Some say the best way to deal with public health issues is to invest in developing new medicines. Others say that a better way is to promote a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is more useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion