Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree ?
It is widely believed that elder citizens extend work till their strength in the body for them. I strongly agree with
this
view of point, as I believe that aged people can work in a good manner after retirement also
.
First of all, the
old Correct article usage
apply
persons
can create more positive vibrations for the young population related to their job. Replace the word
people
This
is because they do not depend on others
money, Change noun form
others'
other's
this
can lead to creating a problem in their family. For example
, if
older public stay in large cities is more expensive compared to a rural area, because of that fact Correct word choice
apply
needs
more money in their life. Correct subject-verb agreement
need
While
it is true that senior nation managing their health is difficult, so taking rest is also
essential for them.
Furthermore
, if the persons are idle without doing any job, which
leads to getting easily bored. A key reason for that does not have any responsibility for the next generation. Correct pronoun usage
it
For instance
, in past everyone lived in a join
family, but now the current situation is totally different where family members Correct your spelling
joint
moved
Wrong verb form
move
to
everywhere Change preposition
apply
depend
upon their facilities. Wrong verb form
depending
While
there is no question that older human beings are good to work
, Change preposition
at working
it is clear that
their family also
support their effectiveness.
In conclusion, the younger also
provides
more support to the older human kids for working after retirement, which will Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
also
have a positive effect on their family members. In my opinion, I think that both the older and younger person does not depend upon others, and this
help
to maintain a good relationship with the community.Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
Submitted by mukilan2007 on
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task response
For a higher score, ensure the essay directly addresses the prompt. Discuss both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion with supporting reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas by structuring the essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs with supporting points, and a concluding paragraph.