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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people like to spend their leisure time outdoors, while others prefer to spend it indoors. Which do you prefer?

#people #leisure #time #indoors
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These days, activity in free time is one of the most important factors in parts of people’s lives. If a question about indoor or outdoor is addressed, it will be challenging us to reach our decision on the controversial issue. In my opinion,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of doing activities outdoors outweigh its disadvantage and the reasons to support these arguments will be covered in
this
Linking Words
 essay. There are two main reasons that I prefer to spend time outdoors.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are more kinds of
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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 to do outdoors than indoors.
For example
Linking Words
, when I have
day
Add an article
a day
the day
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 off and would like to reduce stress from work, I always go to the beach near my home because there are a lot of things to do
such
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 as swimming in the sea, laying down on the beach, surfing and sunbathing. So, these outdoor activities can make me
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
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 and happy.
In addition
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, doing some activities outside can save
my
Correct pronoun usage
me
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money
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, I prefer to go jogging at the public park in my hometown because
entrance
Add an article
the entrance
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 fee is free and
this
Linking Words
 public park
have
Change the verb form
has
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 many exercise equipment you do not need to pay
money
Use synonyms
 to play them.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand, if you would like to do exercise effectively
such
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 as jogging, running and walking, you need to buy the automatic running equipment
that is
Linking Words
 so expensive and need a large area.
As a result
Linking Words
, I prefer to go jogging outdoors because I do not need to spend
money
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, spending my leisure time outdoors is the best choice for me because there are varieties of
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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 to do and it can save
my
Correct pronoun usage
me
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money
Use synonyms
 because I do not spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 to buy the exercise equipment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 running and jogging.
Submitted by nongnanfarm on

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