IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. But others think taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #part #sports #teams #football
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The world of sporting
events
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 can be classified into two categories:
team
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 and individual
events
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. Those who play under
team
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sports
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 believe that it is far more advantageous as opposed to taking part in individual
sports
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and expresses my opinion between these two opposing notions. Among the popular
team
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sports
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 the world has ever popularised are
football
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, basketball and hockey. Thousands of aspiring athletes dream to be part of their country's national
team
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. These rising
sports
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' stars have trained themselves from an early age for
one
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 single purpose: to be scouted and drafted into their dream
team
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. There are two clear factors behind their motivation: passion and reward. There is nothing more fulfilling than being paid for doing what you love.
For example
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,
football
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 players in England Clubs are paid on average of £100,000-£400,000 weekly.
Although
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 it is their love for
football
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 that made them persevere the gruelsome training, it cannot be denied that these monetary compensation has given them more passion and drive to be the best athletes they can be.
However
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, people who favour
team
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sports
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 believe these benefits are not necesarily true for individual sporting
events
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. Individual sporting
events
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 like swimming, boxing, and cycling have gained massive audience for
last
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 few decades. Just recently,
Team
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 GB Adam Peaty brought home multiple gold medals from the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo. Adam has given great honour for himself and for the country.
This
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 is
one
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 of the key benefits of individual
events
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, you share the spotlight with no
one
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. In essence, you get the recognition you deserve unlike being part of a
team
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sport
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. While winning an individual event allows someone to claim all the accolades and merits, winning as a
team
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 doesn't give the credits. Oftentimes, the
team
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 captain gets all the praises and attention which
then
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 equates to higher offer and compensation from endorsements and other incentives. The rest of his teammates can
then
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 enjoy under his shadow with lesser offers for endorsements and
further
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 media exposure. Clearly, there are pros and cons in participating between a group and individual
events
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. The differences evolve around recognition and compensation. In my opinion, there is no
such
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 thing as more beneficial or less beneficial. The most important element to be taken into consideration is the energy and drive
one
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 brings while playing the
sport
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. A
football
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 player who barely gets or receives the ball but has been doing great in assisting the midfielder is equally joyous as someone who finishes gold in an 100-metre freestyle swimming competition.
Therefore
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, the
sport
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 an athelete heart beats for, may it be
football
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 or swimming, is the most beneficial
sport
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 in that respect.
Submitted by JAYSONDIANON on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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