IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce air pollution is to limit the use of private vehicles and promote public transport. Others believe there are more effective ways to tackle this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether restrictions should be placed on private transportation by the authorities or whether more effective strategies ought to be explored to address air pollution. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, both perspectives will be discussed, and my personal viewpoint will be presented. It is the excessive use of private vehicles
that is
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 often blamed for the deteriorating air quality in urban areas. If governments took stricter action, especially in densely populated cities, a noticeable improvement could be seen.
For instance
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, in Germany, a traffic control system was implemented that restricts the movement of cars based on their license plate numbers.
As a result
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, a significant reduction in carbon dioxide emissions has been reported. Had
such
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 measures been introduced earlier, the environmental impact might have been reduced even
further
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.
However
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, it is not only traffic-related pollution that contributes to
this
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 crisis. What truly affects the environment are larger issues
such
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 as fossil fuel consumption in industries, deforestation, and poor waste management. A striking example can be found in India, where a coastal region was used as a landfill site. It was
this
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 action that caused severe contamination, and the residents were poisoned
as a result
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 of eating fish that had been fed by polluted waters. If the root causes are not addressed, even the most well-intended traffic policies will fail to make a meaningful difference. All in all,
although
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 some improvements can be achieved by restricting transportation, I believe that what we truly need is a comprehensive approach targeting the deeper causes. If policymakers focus solely on vehicle usage, the
overall
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 condition of the environment will continue to worsen.
Therefore
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, both immediate and long-term actions must be taken to ensure a cleaner and healthier future.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas clearly between paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
Expand on your main points to give more depth to your argument.
task achievement
The introduction sets up the topic well and presents both sides clearly.
task achievement
You provided strong examples to support your arguments, like the case from India and Germany.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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