IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that the main environment on problem for our time is to loss of particulare species of plans an animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

#people #environment #time #loss #particulare #species #plans #animals
A group of people maintain that
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
 a different sort of
animals
 or plants is the main
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 in the environment that we are living in. While, some other of them believe that
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 issues,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 air pollution are more important than
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
animals
. From my point of view,
although
 there are too many important environmental problems, extinction of
animals
 or some special types of plants is the main one.
To begin
 with, animal and plant's
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 will be disappeared in the soon future.Whenever and wherever a type of animal disappears because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illness or hunting, it's the beginning of losing another sort of them.
This
 circle will go on because they lose their food source and after a long time, when all of the
animals
died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
 out, human's food will decrease until we have Nothing to eat and survive. So we might start hunting others
to
Correct your spelling
so
show examples
 we could just stay alive.
As a result
,
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 would be disappeared.
For example
, in
Iran
Add a comma
,Iran
show examples
 after the
last
 Iranian cheetah had died out, the number of snakes
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 feed and
then
 decrease and it might fall either. Air pollution is
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another type of natural
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
. It has too many harmful effects not only on
humans
Replace the word
human
show examples
 life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 on the Ozon layer which is going to produce some other
difficalties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
 on global warming.
Firstly
, it injures
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 body and health. it's the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 skin cancer which might be really common and hurts too many people. Another reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it would
harms
Change the verb form
harm
show examples
 the health of
heart
Correct article usage
the heart
show examples
,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 springing heart attack.
Secondly
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
torn
Wrong verb form
tore
show examples
 the Ozon layer which is protecting us from the dangerous ray of the sun. So, if it completely breaks, our life would be as difficult as possible. In conclusion, most of the other problems would be solved by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 or even people but there would be no way for keeping all sorts of
animals
 or plants alive.
Submitted by roshaniomolbanin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: