Today, people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is no denying that the advertising industry has prospered in recent decades and has permeated many aspects of everyday life, including preferences.
However
, from my point of view, the growth of the advertising industry is anything but positive, as it has led to a distortion of reality and consumer over-consumption.
My biggest fear is that advertisements lead people to misjudge the importance of the most important things in their lives. People tend to focus on material possessions and physical attractiveness while
neglecting the importance of other positive attributes. A good example of this
is the advertising campaigns run by cosmetic brands. They often promote physical attractiveness as essential for a healthy relationship, even though experts have long known that reliability and compassion are more effective in building personal relationships. This
well-known truth would probably be more widely accepted if marketing messages didn’t overstate the importance of physical appearance.
Another reason I’m against it is consumerism. Today’s marketers have access to new customer insights and cutting-edge technical tools to lure viewers into making impulse purchases. For example
, TikTok’s detection feature can identify users’ preferences and hobbies based on what they’re searching for in their content, and then
prompt them with appropriate buying suggestions that accurately drive their urge to buy. This
has resulted in impulsive buying that leads not only to personal debt but excessive waste that pollutes the environment because more unwanted, out-of-date items would be thrown away. It’s a perfect example of why advertising campaigns are damaging at both the individual and societal levels.
To sum up
, I see advertising as a handicap because it distorts people’s perception of life and encourages over-consumption. That’s why governments should pass stricter laws to contain the growth of advertising until the problems mentioned above are fully resolved.Submitted by trungnh283 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the question throughout, and always tie your arguments back to how advertising impacts what people think is important and affects their lives negatively.
coherence and cohesion
Utilize a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the fluency and cohesion between your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to balance the coverage of both sides if the prompt suggests a discussion rather than presenting a unidimensional view. This will strengthen your argument by acknowledging and refuting opposing viewpoints.
task achievement
Consider including specific studies, statistics, or global examples to bolster the credibility of your arguments and provide a stronger base for your opinions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that develop your argument, and a conclusion that summarises your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that support your arguments, which helps to make your essay convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of vocabulary that is pertinent to the topic and appropriately academic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite