IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #education #age #years
In the present day, the
education
 taught for
children
 is a primary concern in any society. While some people believe
children
 ought to go to school at a very early age, others claim that they could begin after
seven
years
 of age. I tend to agree with the latter, because, from my point of view,
children
 need to enjoy life without pressure. On the one hand, a part of our society believes
that is
 necessary
to begin
 formal
education
 as soon as possible since
this
 way,
children
 could present more discipline in relation to their behaviour.
For instance
, due to strict schedules, certainly, they would be young people more organized and disciplined.
Moreover
, they may present more facilities in order to learn by virtue of the plasticity of their brain.
On the other hand
, some individuals claim that after
first
years
such
 as
seven
years
 of old,
children
 tend to be more mature and
this
 way would be easier attend in schools.
Furthermore
, another essential fact about
this
 assumption is the idea that after some
years
 they have more knowledge and awareness of some topics and current issues different from young people under
seven
years
. Take some international research as an example, some articles demonstrate that after
seven
years
, individuals already have the personality completely built. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the latter assumption. Spending the
first
years
 at home,
children
 have more leisure time with parents and siblings that leads to healthy mental health.
In addition
, without the pressure from schools and formal
education
, they may develop their creativity and feeling without pressure and with much more freedom. The more chance to be a free child, the better opportunities to be a prosperous adult. In conclusion, formal
education
 is essential so as to build a better society,
however
,
children
 need to enjoy childhood. Formal
education
 so earlier can damage not only mental health but
also
 diminish creativity and reduce time with the close family.
Submitted by larissafelipin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • lifelong love for learning
  • undue pressure
  • young minds
  • emotionally and socially
  • less structured environment
  • play-based learning
  • crucial
  • long-term academic performance
  • well-being
  • balancing early education
  • flexibility
  • best approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: