Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other while other think that people have become more independent.discuss both views and give your opinion.

Modernity
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
changed the
world
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
last
decades and with
it
Add a comma
,it
show examples
society's have transformed.
Therefore
people
's interactions have
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
weaker, resulting in more independent persons. Along with
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
changes in relationship
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
stronger causing effects in
modernity
interrelations.
Firstly
, is important to mention that some decades before
families
around the
world
were bigger, making
this
conection
Correct your spelling
connection
between individuals stronger because
families
were more band together, sharing same interests, routines, place of living and jobs.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,
families
usually have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
kids and their housing belong related to their jobs making
families
apart. According to a Harvard study, since 2000 it was
demostrated
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
that
families
have many members living abroad or in a different city from their parents,
therefore
this
kind of distance develop on
people
autonomy and independence.
Additionally
, is impossible to
evaid
Correct your spelling
avoid
evade
that technological growth
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
parted society's, because
this
innovation
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
connections with
people
all around the
world
, consuming the attention that at
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
fist
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
was given to a local place and now it is focused globally, making individuals apart because of their interests.
On the other hand
, there are some
people
that disagree with it and support that
modernity
had
delevoped
Correct your spelling
developed
more dependency between persons, claiming that
societys
Correct your spelling
society
societies
have
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
more globalized,
therefore
they are more linked between them at economic, political and cultural issues. A clear example is the actual
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the performance of economy between
countrys
Correct your spelling
countries
country
, in the Colombian case we are dependent
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
China economy. Making
this
country conditional on what happens on the other side of the
world
.
Finally
,
hilghligting
Correct your spelling
highlighting
different point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
on the evolution of dependency in relations, I consider that
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
modernity
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
made
people
more
independant
Correct your spelling
independent
as how it was decades ago. Making
families
and groups apart, caused at
first
because of the technology innovations we have had.
Submitted by lsparra98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: