It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of each others. To what extent do you agree.

#people #travel #country

I agree with

this

notion to a large extent that, folks travelling outside of their home country are more

accomodating

Correct your spelling

accommodating

and empathetic towards others. There are many reasons surrounding it.

Although

, some people might think

otherwise

. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss both views in detail and give my reasons. To start with, there are many cultures all around the world. Travelling not only makes us rich in experiences but

also

shows

many

Correct pronoun usage

us many

show examples

possibilities. Learning from own experiences and conversing with other countrymen helps in seeing various perspectives.

This

practice makes us more open-minded and welcoming towards one another. Only by travelling and experiencing it firsthand can we know

this

For example

, those who have travelled to Japan can witness that speaking in a humble tone can achieve great results without shouting at one another because Japanese folks are very soft-spoken and great networkers.

Thus

, I feel that journies to other territories can make us wise and humble.

On the other hand

, the public who do not travel much, live in their own cocoon of thoughts which limits their imagination.

Thus

, it makes them closed-minded and judgemental.

For instance

, older folks in my country, who have not had journies in their lives except within India, have a very rigid attitude towards foreigners. Their lack of travel and

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

may have made them biased. With

such

thinking, we can not survive and be happy for long.

To conclude

, I completely agree that travelling is a great experience that assists us in thinking outside the box and becoming very open towards others that encourage collaboration and

grates

Correct your spelling

great

show examples

possibilities.

Submitted by bhagya.jog on Mon Nov 22 2021

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coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your ideas in a more logical manner. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly introduce and summarize your main points respectively. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of each others. To what extent do you agree.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that thia would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You stayed at a hotel to attend a company meeting and you were dissatisfied with your stay. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter – Provide the details of your meeting – Explain what you were dissatisfied with – Suggest what the hotel should do to resolve the issue.

The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed over time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?