Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures

A large number of

prisoners

who serve their

first

punishment be caught again because of crimes.

This

essay will present the main reasons and solutions to address

this

issue. These are some social and economic causes that lead to the

second

punishment of offenders. From society,

people

usually have bad perspectives with

prisoners

and tend to avoid them.

For example

, many parents restrict their children in re

lationship w

Correct article usage

a relationship

show examples

ith a person who committed a crime.

As a result

prisoners

are co

ntinous t

Correct your spelling

continuous

Change preposition

show examples

mpany w

Add an article

a company

the company

show examples

ith bad

people

and would make repeat mistakes.

Furthermore

, offenders in fact have fewer opportunities to get a job after serving because employers have double opinions about them like their tr

urthless,

Correct your spelling

ruthless

truthless

their work abilities ,etc.

Therefore

, th

ey w

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

ould be difficult to find a position in the labour market and maybe they would steal to expense their needs. Both government and community could tackle

this

problem by the below measures.

Firstly

, po

licitians c

Correct your spelling

politicians

ould run a campaign about the reasons why

people

should not avoid the

prisoners

in the area and

also

teach the way to treat wi

th th

Change preposition

apply

show examples

em. If br

eaklawers a

Correct your spelling

bricklayers

re gotten a little sympathy, they will properly have a normal life.

Secondly

, it is important to ensure offenders may have an equal chance to find a new job which can help them to decrease their financial burden.

Finally

, go

vernment s

Add an article

the government

show examples

hould supervise them and give supports if they ne

ed.

Correct pronoun usage

itneed

show examples

In conclusion, the fact is that many

people

are committed

cond c

Add an article

a second

the second

show examples

ime,

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

both government and society should implement the methods to tackle

this

problem.

Submitted by Andy on Wed Nov 24 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The digital age has made the gap between the younger and older generations wider. Give reasons for your own answer.

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a countries success, while others think that other factors can be used to measure a countries success. What are these Factors? Which do you think are most important?

The internet means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how others live. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects.Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.