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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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A number of games are offered to the
kids
Use synonyms
 by several guardians.
This
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 essay clarifies the advantages
such
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 as introducing the young to the animal kingdom and enhancing their understanding of the world.
However
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, age-inappropriate
models
Use synonyms
 can scare young people and choking hazards are really common in real life. To initiate with,
youngsters
Use synonyms
 need to be introduced to their surroundings through knickknacks.
As a result
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,
models
Use synonyms
 can be a useful item as it assists them to know of the world and its inhabitants, which may contribute to their learning at school.
In addition
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, it is vital for caretakers of the young people to teach them about animals and their threats to the
kids
Use synonyms
 by
models
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, which assists
youngsters
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 to remind these animals and their lifestyles in case toys are automated. The Bangladesh Primary School Association,
for example
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, have completed a recent survey, which indicates that the
kids
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 who are introduced to numerous
models
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 are performing well compared to the other
youngsters
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.
In contrast
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, age-inappropriate figures may scare the young especially automated
models
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, which could be more harmful than learning ;
consequently
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, guardians must choose toddlers’ knickknacks carefully.
Furthermore
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, choking hazards existence depend on the size of
models
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 as children have the habit to eat everything in their hands, which could
inresult
Correct your spelling
result
in result
 the stomach issues due to the consumption of dirt on toys. In Bangladesh,
for instance
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, 80% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
toddlers
Change to a genitive case
toddler's
show examples
 stomach issues are related to dirt from
models
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, according to medical experts. To conclude, young people’s games ought to enhance their knowledge of the world and its surroundings.
On the other hand
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, automation of games, which scare
youngsters
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 and choking hazards to the
kids
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 must be carefully considered prior to
handing
Change the verb
hand
show examples
 any toys.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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