Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

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In recent years, the number of

children

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who get involved in paid

work

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has significantly improved. [Background sentence] While some people think that it is advantageous for them in many ways, others are of the opinion that

this

Linking Words

can bring out a set of concerns. [paraphrase]

To begin

Linking Words

with, one benefit of doing paid

work

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is that

this

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enables

children

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to boost their employability.

This

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is because when they take part in jobs, they not only learn necessary practical

skills

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such

Linking Words

as computer

skills

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, but they

also

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acquire certain social

skills

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such

Linking Words

as managing customers. It is often seen that employers, nowadays, look for

the

Correct article usage

apply

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candidates who have both practical

skills

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and good academic qualifications.

Besides

Linking Words

, when they

work

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hard, they can understand the value of

money

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and learn important

money

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management

skills

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because they realize that

money

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does not come without putting

any

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in any

show examples

effort.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they don’t spend

money

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on unnecessary items whereas their peers not doing any

work

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possess items that they use very rarely.

However

Linking Words

, paid

work

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can

also

Linking Words

cause some problems for

children

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Firstly

Linking Words

, their main duty is to study hard and prepare for the future, but if they somehow focus on

money

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too much, their academic results can be affected. If

this

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happened, the effects could turn out to be very destructive for their career because

with

Add the comma(s)

,with

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a poor result, they will not be able to

enroll

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enrol

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at a top university in their country. Another negative outcome is that they might be negatively affected by their colleagues.

Children

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are always vulnerable, and they prefer to follow adults, so if the adults in their workplace have some bad habits like drug addiction or even smoking, there is a risk that they can copy them. To sum up, despite the advantages of

children

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doing paid

work

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, it is important to consider its drawbacks

otherwise

Linking Words

our beloved

children

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might lose their career path as there is a chance of making poor academic results and getting involved in anti-social

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

Submitted by Sayeed Sajeeb on Fri Nov 26 2021

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

331 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

beneficial
harmful
advantages
disadvantages
financial independence
responsibility
valuable skills
impact
education
exploitation
negative effects
social life

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