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Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

#people #children #work
In recent years, the number of
children
 who get involved in paid
work
 has significantly improved. [Background sentence] While some people think that it is advantageous for them in many ways, others are of the opinion that
this
 can bring out a set of concerns. [paraphrase]
To begin
 with, one benefit of doing paid
work
 is that
this
 enables
children
 to boost their employability.
This
 is because when they take part in jobs, they not only learn necessary practical
skills
such
 as computer
skills
, but they
also
 acquire certain social
skills
such
 as managing customers. It is often seen that employers, nowadays, look for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
candidates who have both practical
skills
 and good academic qualifications.
Besides
, when they
work
 hard, they can understand the value of
money
 and learn important
money
 management
skills
 because they realize that
money
 does not come without putting
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
 effort.
Therefore
, they don’t spend
money
 on unnecessary items whereas their peers not doing any
work
 possess items that they use very rarely.
However
, paid
work
 can
also
 cause some problems for
children
.
Firstly
, their main duty is to study hard and prepare for the future, but if they somehow focus on
money
 too much, their academic results can be affected. If
this
 happened, the effects could turn out to be very destructive for their career because
with
Add the comma(s)
,with
show examples
 a poor result, they will not be able to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 at a top university in their country. Another negative outcome is that they might be negatively affected by their colleagues.
Children
 are always vulnerable, and they prefer to follow adults, so if the adults in their workplace have some bad habits like drug addiction or even smoking, there is a risk that they can copy them. To sum up, despite the advantages of
children
 doing paid
work
, it is important to consider its drawbacks
otherwise
 our beloved
children
 might lose their career path as there is a chance of making poor academic results and getting involved in anti-social
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Submitted by Sayeed Sajeeb on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial independence
  • responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • impact
  • education
  • exploitation
  • negative effects
  • social life
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