Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea ora waste of time?

#students #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work #idea #ora #waste #time

University

is one of the important

level

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levels

show examples

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

system of all the countries in the world. Nowadays, lots of

student

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students

show examples

decided to spend

1 year

Add a hyphen

1-year

show examples

gap before studying

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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university

in order to pay a

vist

Correct your spelling

visit

to other countries or obtain more

experiences

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experience

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for work . In my

oppinion

Correct your spelling

opinion

this

is absolutely a great idea and in

this

essay

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,essay

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show examples

will explain why .

First

of all, travelling can help

students

broaden their

mind

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minds

show examples

in many new environments before they attend

university

For instance

, Asian

students

who come to American for

visting

Correct your spelling

visiting

or relaxing can approach many new

culture

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cultures

show examples

, they observe foreigner’s

action

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actions

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and

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

when dealing with things. Because of

that

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,that

show examples

they imply into their daily life,

unversity

Correct your spelling

university

after that

wont

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won't

show examples

Change the verb form

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a difficult task for gap year

student

Beside

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Besides

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students

have to study at least one language during their

traveling

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travelling

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time,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

build up their

confident

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confidence

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and

diplomatical

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diplomatic

skill .

Secondly

, many

student

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students

show examples

spend

Correct pronoun usage

who spend

show examples

a year

to work

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working

show examples

also

shown that they are more potential in their future jobs. Whatever it is a part-time or a full-time job,

student

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students

show examples

will gain more experience

such

as in dealing with customers, coordinators, coworkers.

For example

, if they sell coffee they will know how coffee drinks are made, how to serve the customer and which attitudes should they give to others.

Additionally

, in some

jobs

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,jobs

show examples

also

has certain confirmations to put in your CV and from

there after

Correct your spelling

thereafter

show examples

university

Add a comma

,university

show examples

they will have more opportunities cause most of the interviewer’s requirement is experiences. In conclusion, it is a good idea for many

students

to spend

1-year

Correct article usage

a 1-year

show examples

gap

instead

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

directly at the

university

after high school because it not only opens their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

to new cultures, builds their language skills but

also

gives them more experiences to support their career path.

Submitted by josephjjj333 on Sat Nov 27 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea ora waste of time?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Planting trees is very important. Some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while others say that housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Many Museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?