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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think schools should be responsible for teaching children how to eat healthily. Others believe this is the parents’ job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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With rising concerns over childhood obesity and poor dietary habits, the question of who should be responsible for teaching
children
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 about healthy eating has become increasingly relevant.
While
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 some argue that
this
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 duty lies primarily with
parents
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, others believe
schools
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 are better positioned to educate
children
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 on nutrition. In my view,
although
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 parental influence is essential,
schools
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 should take the lead in delivering structured and consistent health education.
Parents
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 play a crucial role in shaping their
children
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’s eating habits, especially during the early years. They are responsible for the food
children
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 consume at home and serve as role models through their own dietary choices. A household that prioritizes balanced meals, limits processed foods, and encourages fruits and vegetables can
instill
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instil
show examples
 long-term healthy habits in
children
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.
Moreover
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, cultural and financial factors often shape a family’s approach to food, making the home environment a powerful influence.
However
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,
schools
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 have a unique opportunity to reach all
children
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 equally, regardless of their background. Through formal education in science or health classes,
children
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 can learn about nutrition, portion sizes, and the risks associated with poor diets.
Additionally
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,
schools
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 can implement healthy meal programs and ban junk food on campus to reinforce what is taught in the classroom. Not all
parents
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 are well-informed about nutrition, and in many cases, they may be too busy or unaware to provide proper guidance. In
such
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 situations,
schools
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 serve as a valuable safety net. In conclusion,
while
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parents
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 have a foundational role in promoting healthy eating,
schools
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 are better equipped to deliver consistent, research-based education to all students.
Therefore
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,
schools
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 should take the primary responsibility for teaching
children
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 how to eat healthily, with support from families to reinforce these lessons at home.

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task achievement
Expand on the examples given, perhaps with more specific cases or statistics about childhood obesity to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that transitions between different viewpoints are smooth to enhance the overall flow of the essay, making it even more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the context and outlines the debate clearly.
task achievement
Your arguments are well-structured, with a balanced view of both perspectives before presenting your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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